


After Hours

by Dreamer_88



Category: Shefani, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:22:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23231650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamer_88/pseuds/Dreamer_88
Summary: “It could be like friends with benefits? We wouldn’t lose that special connection we have, we just… play into it.”
Relationships: Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani
Comments: 57
Kudos: 131





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is mostly just an excuse to write some filth. Ending quite possibly in romance, because you know me ;-) 
> 
> If you don't like smut, or slightly toxic beginnings, this one might not be for you. 
> 
> If you're still with me, thank you so much for reading. Please leave a comment to let me know what you're thinking.

She’s seen him like this before, too often for her liking, but it’s the first time she’s watched the fallout from start to finish. The first time she hasn’t been able to bring him down before he did serious damage, or before she could save him from his own mind. She leans against the open door frame, crossing her arms and trying not to get distracted by the sight in front of her. His body is unexpectedly similar to the one he had in college; strong, chiselled, masculine. It’s been too long since she had the opportunity to know what it felt like to touch him, at least in _that_ way.

They had both decided an intense college fling was all they’d ever be, both indulging in different relationships, yet they could never let go of the music they were able to create together. They’ve been partners long after they left college, moving to Nashville together –separate homes, but still. Blake had gotten married two years after he broke up with her, and though it had hurt like hell, she didn’t let it ruin what they had built musically. They were still the best team when it came to writing songs and the royalties’ they’d receive everytime a huge star made one of their songs number 1, was all the proof they needed. She could deal with the fact that he’d never come home with her, that there was always a wedding band staining his finger and he never lingered longer than necessary during their writing sessions. They had music. That was all theirs and would always continue to be.

She brings one hand up to her chin while the other cups her elbow. She feels slightly creepy watching him like this, but she doesn’t know what to say to him now.

He exhales through a small _O_ in his pursed lips as he pushes himself up, inhaling through his nose as he lowers himself down again. He blinks as beads of sweat roll down from his forehead and sting his eyes. She can feel how angry he still is, how the festering pool of frustration and agony is bubbling over while he does work outs she’s never seen him do since…college.

He’s kept himself busy despite arguing the opposite, though. She’d seen him go to the gym more times than once and he still went back to Oklahoma every month to help his mom with chores on the ranch. He was an outdoorsy guy, has always been, and it kept him in shape better than any scheduled work out routine could probably do. He looked real. Not like the men she’s dated but could never commit to—Blake is gorgeous in a very real, much too appealing way.

She takes a silent breath as she pulls at the sleeves of her baby blue sweater, her lower lip finding itself wedged between her teeth. She can’t tear her eyes away from him as she watches the muscles in his back twitch and twist as the pace of his push ups quicken. She sees the sheen of sweat glistening in the florescent rehearsal room lights, the one they’re not supposed to be in at this hour of the night, but she knew for a fact she’d be able to find him here after what happened tonight.

There are darkened spots on his grey sweats that tell her his lower body is getting just as much of a work out and she squeezes her eyes shut in an attempt to not envision herself naked beneath him at this moment.

She leans further into the doorway but miscalculates how much distance there’s left, and a soft thud is heard in the otherwise quiet room. His movements halt as he reluctantly pulls himself upright, his breathing shallow. He turns sharply and when his eyes land on her, he smirks.

He reaches over to the shabby chair in the back, grabs a white cotton towel that he must’ve brought with him and rubs it over his face.

“How long have you been standing there?”

She swallows forcefully, the insides of her cheek taking the abuse of her anxiety.

“Long enough. Are you okay?”

He lets out a petulant laugh, sliding the towel down his face and neck again.

“Not really.”

Her eyes dart to his chest as it rises and falls with his heavy breathing, and she follows a droplet of sweat travelling all the way down over his nipple and she needs to actively remind herself to inhale.

She swallows again, tucking a strand of blonde behind her ear.

“What the hell happened Blake?” She whispers. “Scotty just called me and said you blew the whole thing up; we’re no longer working with Hillary or are we still able to use their services.”

“Sounds to me like you know exactly what happened.”

“I know the consequences of what happened.” She challenges. “Blake, what did you do? What did you say? They’re our biggest client, Hillary was about to record a bunch of our songs and let us use her studio to record our demos. How did we lose all of this in one night?”

He tosses a towel over his shoulder, shaking his head.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

He leans over the chair again, grabbing his disregarded t-shirt and hoodie.

“Well, that’s not an option you have.” She argues, feeling herself getting riled up. “This is my life too, you know? We’re a team. Your actions hurt me as well, you can’t just…get angry and blow such an important milestone in our careers up.”

He whips his head towards her again and there’s a darkness in his eyes that he just can’t hide.

“Let it go.”

One of her eyebrows climbs higher of its own volition, her hands dropping to her sides as her thumbs hook themselves through the belt loops of her jeans.

“What happened?”

He shakes his head again, clearing his throat as he unfurls his t-shirt. “I went there to talk, things didn’t go as planned, we lost a business transaction. That’s the story.”

She scoffs at him disbelievingly, taking a step in his direction.

“I get it, okay? You’ve been under a lot of stress recently, things haven’t been great at the home front, and you’re angry. But you can’t possibly be this selfish and not see how big of a deal this is.”

“We’ll find someone else. It’s not like our songs haven’t been in demand recently, Gwen. We don’t need them.”

“What you did is unprofessional. And it helps no one.”

“But you standing here, watching me work out does?” He cocks his head to the left, an unreadable smile in place. “Cause you could’ve gone home, or better yet, try and fix things with Hillary, but instead you followed me into the room and just…” He chuckles once and thrusts out a dismissive hand. “…Stood there?”

She doesn’t understand why or how he lets himself turn into such a dick when he’s angry, but she knows him well enough to know it’s not his natural self.

“I know better than to talk to you when you’re blowing off steam.” She says instead, taking a solid look at him. “Make sure you calm down before you leave here. Don’t bring the asshole home to Miranda.”

Suddenly there’s a deep, trembling breath coming from the man in front of her, the overly confident and macho posture transforming into something much more vulnerable.

“I’m not going home to her.”

She gives him a dismissive snort, not letting herself do the hopeful leap she so desperately wants to do at hearing him say that.

“You’ve had issues with her before, you can work whatever it is out. Let me drive you home.”

“I’m serious.” He snarls, looking up at her with an apology in his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”

It registers immediately, the look of hurt in his eyes.

“Blake, please tell me…” She whispers dumbfounded. “What is going on?”

“I went to Hillary and Jack’s house to talk, I swear. I just needed to hear it from his mouth.”

She shakes her head. “Hear _what_ from his mouth?”

“The truth about Ran.” He says shakily, and she’s too floored and too confused to interrupt him. “There were rumours going around that she was cheating on me, so I confronted her. After fighting and talking all night, she finally tells me she’s been having affair. With him.”

Gwen’s eyes widen. “That can’t be right, Jack’s— “

“Happily married to Hillary?” Blake fills in for her before chuckling. “Yeah, well unfortunately a wedding band doesn’t mean that much to some people. I went over there to talk, but as soon as he admitted it, I remembered all the dinners we had over at that place, the many promises he made us, the trust we shared. I just couldn’t help it, I lost it.”

She finally lets herself reach for his left hand, curling her fingers around his wrist and lifting it up to get a better view.

“My God Blake, what did you do?”

He chuckles. “I only hit him once. The rest comes from firing my fist into his wall a few times.”

“You should….do you need ice or something?”

He rips his hand away from her suddenly, as if the notion of her taking care of him throws him back into reality.

“I’m fine.” He cracks. “It’s just a couple of cuts, ripped skin. I’m a bleeder.”

She furrows her brow, looks at him as if it’s the first time she’s ever seeing him. She silently analyses the creases in his forehead and the lines in his cheeks. He looks tired, worn out, worried.

“This is not like you.” She says softly. “And I’ve known you for over a decade, so I can say that.”

She got first introduced to him when she was 17, she’s almost thirty now. Blake’s 32, she’s known him since he was 20. She knows him better than he knows himself sometimes. Just as she knows what’s happening when he looks at her next.

His eyes widen a bit more, his lips flatten and he takes a deep breath to keep himself from crying.

“I feel like I’m losing it here, Gwen.” He says softly, his eyes stuck on the collar of her blue sweater. “It wasn’t always like this, was it?”

Gwen feels her pulse quicken underneath his stare, her hands itching to reach out for him but she doesn’t.

“I don’t understand what you— “

“Love.” He interrupts. “When it was you and me, things weren’t so…twisted, were they?”

The sound of her sharp inhale ripples through the thick tension in the air between them. She can’t speak, hasn’t allowed herself to go back to that time a lot, in fear of opening a jar that she couldn’t get the lit back on.

“Because I’ve been thinking about it…” He continues, his eyes darting back up to hers. “And I can’t remember it ever being like this. I think the only reason I’ve been able to be remotely calm, remotely less angry during these last few years, is because you were still there. You never left.”

“Blake, you’re sad and emotional and you’re not thinking straight.”

He bites his lip. “Maybe. But I’m right about all of this. You calm me down, but you also…weaken me.”

“What do you mean?” She whispers, her chest tight.

She nearly combusts on the spot when he reaches down for her hand, holding it like he isn’t allowed to.

“I don’t mean for you to be the one that has to deal with me like this, but you’re….” he pauses, licks his lips and rubs his eyes with the hand that’s not currently finding a comfortable home in her palm. “Gwen, you’re the only one I trust enough to see me break.” The words leave him and he chokes on a breath immediately. He didn’t mean to say those words out loud, but now that he’s gone _this_ far, he might as well tell her the truth. Her whole body aches, heart stutters as she waits him out. “I think I know why I’ve been this angry. This shit with Ran, of course, it fucking destroyed me to find out she could betray me like this. And it was the last drop, adding fuel to the fire...”

She watches his pupils dilate, watches them dart back and forth as they focus on each of her eyes independently.

“But?” She stammers out painfully, not exactly sure she wants to hear what he’s about to say.

“You ever want something so badly….and somehow it’s always just… out of reach? It’s uh, it’s like that.”

He settles for a cryptic admission, but she can tell by the way his lips twitch just slightly, that he’s completely aware of how hard his message just landed.

She should be ripping her hand away from his, she should be telling him that he’s out of line for insinuating what he just did, she definitely shouldn’t be entertaining any of his thoughts by continuing to stand this close to him. But she’s unable to do anything but focusing on how to breath.

She remembers how they broke up out of fear of the unknown, not knowing what this next big career step would do for them, tensions and anxiety crippling the youthful romance they embarked on. She remembers all the nights she cried herself to sleep when Blake started dating again, and eventually got engaged. She remembers the nights on her couch, whenever Blake would argue with his wife and ended up sleeping on hers. She remembers the weird look in his eyes when _she_ finally started dating again—the romance not lasting longer than a few months, but still, it was a reminder to Blake, that she also was officially out of reach. Despite all that, there was something there that never quite left. A longing, a connection, something that drew them together even when they couldn’t be.

There’s a silence between them, only the very soft sounds of her fingers brushing over his bruised and torn hand.

“Can I stay with you?” He whispers, eyes glued to the patterns her fingers are drawing in his palms.

“Yeah.” She answers, and suddenly she gasps and drops his hand as if it were a lump of hot coal, as though she’d only now realized she was still holding it.

“We’ll fix this later. Let’s go home.”

\--

His hands drop to the door of her refrigerator, scanning the surroundings before rolling his eyes.

“Really, Gwen?” He scoffs, while making a mental note of the contents of her fridge: water bottles, an orange, three cartons of eggs, a full six-pack of beer and a single slice of pre-packed cheese. “What do you usually eat?”

He runs a hand down his face while grabbing a beer, before fishing for his phone in his pocket.

“I see you found the beer I bought you weeks ago.” She smiles.

“I appreciate it, but did you think to buy any food?” He asks again.

“I was thinking to order in today.”

He plods over to the couch as he dials a number he knows by heart, because of the amount of times a month Gwen makes him use it.

“Hi, order for delivery please.” He waits and then laughs breathily. “Yeah, that’s the address.”

Part of him loves that his cell phone number is attached to Gwen’s place, as if they live together, even if it’s only by the Italian place they ordered from since their college days. “Yeah the usual order. Can we get some extra garlic bread though? We’re good for the rest, thanks.”

Gwen sits down next to him, the phone lowered to the coffee table as he looks around the place.

His knuckles hurt, his entire body aches. In the silence and solitude she provides right now, he can’t help but think about all of the reasons he’s been so frustrated lately. The things he’d been keeping bottled up, the joys he’s been keeping from himself. He takes a deep breath, feeling a certain calmness as the scent of her house fills his lungs. It’s something sweet, something spicy, even something floral—it’s all so perfectly Gwen.

“I brought an ice pack.” She says finally, making him look to his right.

She’s wearing a soft smile, her free hand reaching for his.

“Gwen, it’s fine...”

“Don’t give me a hard time, please.” She says softly, though there’s a clear demand in her words.

He stops fighting it altogether, let’s her hand cover his and press the frozen pack of ice against his knuckles.

“It’s okay to be angry.” She whispers softly as she keeps pressing the ice against his sore hand. “You don’t have to hide that from me.”

That’s just the thing—he can’t. He’s always been his most honest around her, the most vulnerable. He doesn’t look at her while his mind goes down memory lane, remembering how they used to be when they were together; hot, passionate, soft. They were able to lose all formalities together without ever hurting each other, their passion so intense, they both got scared and eventually ran from it.

“Thanks for letting me crash here.”

Gwen finally let’s go of his hand, smiling.

“That’s no problem. You know you’re always welcome here.”

He nods.

“And about the business thing, I will figure it out. I promise.”

Gwen exhales deeply, smoothing her fingers down his good hand.

“I know you will.”

The tension filled moment gets interrupted by the sound of her doorbell. Gwen gets up to get it, but Blake softly ushers her to stay on the couch. He searches through the gym bag he brought and gets his wallet out, walking towards the door.

He hands over the two twenty dollar bills, the younger boy staring at him in a bit of confusion.

“Keep the change.” Blake says with a smile and nod, taking the bag from him. The delivery guy thanks him gratefully before he closes the door. He drops the bag down on her coffee table, before she starts rummaging through it.

The sight is a good one, familiar too.

He takes the cartons out of her hands and puts it down on the table.

“I’ll get some more drinks.” She says, excusing herself.

Blake looks after her for a few beats, shocked by how normal this all feels. It’s not like he hasn’t spent time like this at her place before, but it feels different now they’re both single again, their lives nowhere near what they used to be.

She comes back with a few more beer bottles, smiling as she sits back down.

“Thought we could use these.”

Blake looks at her. “You don’t usually drink beer.”

“It’s all I have right now.”

Blake nods, letting her get by with the weak explanation.

He looks at her again, this time as she opens one of the cartons and digs her plastic fork into her noodles.

“Were you working out with that sore hand?” She asks suddenly, popping the pasta into her mouth.

His eyes zoom in her direction, eyebrow arcing. “Unless I magically grew a healthy one out there, yes I did.”

She swallows her mouth full.

“That couldn’t have been good.”

He chews with a grin on his face now.

“I barely felt it, was so high on adrenaline.”

“I haven’t seen you work out like that in…. ages.”

He chuckles. “I don’t think I have either. It’s not really my thing, as I’m sure you’re able to tell.”

She reaches out for the extra garlic bread they ordered.

“Don’t be dumb, your body looks great.”

His eyes focus on the arch of her back as she leans over the coffee table, her sweater riding up far enough so he can see the creamy strip of flash above her waist.

He clears his throat. “Is that why you were staring at me earlier tonight? Because you just couldn’t get enough of my rockin’ bod?”

Gwen snorts. “Sure cowboy.”

 _Cowboy_. He hasn’t heard that nickname from her in years. It’s something that she started saying right when they started dating—his Southern accent never lessening, even when he moved out to California for a while for college. She used to say it’s what attracted her to him first, a real life cowboy right in the middle of her less than rural home state.

By the time most of the food is devoured, they’re both on their third bottle of beer—might be more, he kind of lost count.

“Things were weird for a while, I mean damn, I don’t even think she remembers what I look like naked.”

Gwen shakes her head. “I don’t believe that. All the times you bailed on a session to go home early…”

“Were all in vain.” He answers, taking another sip of his beer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asks surprised.

“Tell you what?” He chuckles bitterly. “’Oh hey Gwen, I know I said I was gonna go home early to surprise my wife, and quite possibly get laid, but instead she cancelled and said romance wasn’t for her?’ Yeah, that’s quite the conversation starter.”

Her body was pressing a bit firmer against him now and he could tell she was getting slightly intoxicated by the way she didn’t even seem to notice the increased body contact.

“How long since you guys slept together?”

“I don’t know, three months?”

“What caused it to stop?”

It’s a conversation he probably never would have had with her if they weren’t both drunk, but he can’t get his mouth to shut up no matter how hard he tries.

“It started to feel forced, you know? Something we had to do to keep our marriage alive, but neither of us were really into. It was hard to feel satisfied afterwards, so why even bother in the first place?”

Gwen hums, thinking over his words.

“Maybe she didn’t know what you needed.” His eyes widen, but she proves not to be done yet. “Maybe you never told her.”

Blake scratches the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.

“Our sex life wasn’t like that.” He says, knowing she’s rummaging through the memories she has of _them_ back then.

“So you’re saying she couldn’t satisfy you.”

He shakes his head and pulls her hands over his lap, tracing the blue-tinged lines of her veins on her wrists. He hears her moan softly and he knows he’s playing with matches in a gas tank.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” He chuckles lowly, being led solely by the alcohol coursing through his body. “I’m saying that some of those needs, I’ve never cared to explore with her.”

He moves his fingers higher up her arm, almost massaging her through her blue sleeves. He hears her stifle another moan again and he gathers all the self-control he possesses to ignore them.

“She is your wife.”

“Was my wife. I filed for the divorce paper this morning, before I went to see Jack. As far as I’m concerned, we’re done.”

“Still, she was your wife at the time...” Gwen says softly, her own voice slightly slurred as she shifts closer to him. “Are you saying you couldn’t trust her enough to fulfil these certain…. _needs_?”

He almost laughs at the way she’s being everything but subtle, and he looks up at her dark brown eyes.

“She was barely ever home. I don’t know if it was trust, or just lack of chemistry from being away from each other so much.”

His hand rubs at the muscle of her upper arm and her head lolls back against the couch.

“Sounds unhealthy, and boring.”

“It wasn’t good, that’s for sure.” He pulls her closer so he can work the tension out of her shoulder, though she didn’t ever ask him to. “It’s just the frustration of something not being the way you want it to be, or something being nothing like what it _used_ to be. I don’t know, it’s probably stupid.”

“Sexual frustration.” She chuckles, and _yeah_ , she’s definitely feeling the effects of their drinks.

Blake chokes on the air he inhales.

“I didn’t mean, I was just— “

“I’m kidding.” She interrupts, saving him from having to spill another truth he has no business revealing tonight.

Her head pops up and she opens her mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a satisfied moan as his hand works miracles on her shoulder blades.

“Good?” He asks, smirking.

She nods.

“But Blake?” She ponders over her words for a moment, before looking back up at him. “What about us?”

To any other person, her question wouldn’t have made an ounce of sense, but to him—it was clear as day.

“You...” He stops, sliding his hand forward and curling his thumb and forefinger around the back of her neck. “You and me had this thing from the instant we met.” He’s trying to find the right way to explain, but he can feel her pulse racing under his fingers and he knows he’s affecting her the same way she does him. “We had the kind of chemistry I hoped to find with her too. We had the same needs, same desires. It’s wrong to compare it, I know…” His voice has dropped an octave, fingers tracing the lines of her collarbones. “Am I wrong?”

She blinks at him. “I can’t answer that.”

He grins, feeling the tension like a bubble around them.

“It’s probably a good thing that you won’t.”

She turns around, out of his grasp, but back in his lap on her knees in front of him. It’s much easier to look into her eyes this way, but the moment is also much too intimate to keep his breathing regular.

“Are you serious?” She runs a hand down his arm while she asks. “I need to know what you’re saying here.”

He rubs his lips together, hiding his face away behind his injured hand before looking back down at her.

“We’re drunk.” He states.

“You’re single.”

He coughs into his hand once.

“Yeah, but I mean…. we can’t?” He meant for the words to come out as a statement, but instead he just asked her a question he doesn’t even know.

“Have sex?” She counters. “We’ve done it before.”

“Jesus Christ, Gwen.” He closes his eyes, trying to distract himself from the gorgeous image she makes in front of him, her words sobering him up a bit. “Do you know what you’re saying right now?”

He knows it’s wrong, knows it’s wrong for him to bait her all night, steer her into this place only for him to put the brakes on it now. But he genuinely loves Gwen; using her, even if it’s consensual, is just not what he wants to do.

Part of him figured she’d snap him out of this, but nothing prepared him for what would happen if she’d actually lean into his offer— _encourage_ it, even.

“We both just got out of shitty relationships…” She starts softly, running her fingers up and down his arm. “It could just be what it is, an outlet of some sorts.”

“A rebound?” He asks. “I’m not turning us into no goddamn rebound, Gwen.”

She shakes her head.

“Then let’s not call it that. We can just…live out some fantasies, let go of some frustrations.” She bites her lip at him, and fuck, he’s so much weaker than he thought. “It could be like friends with benefits? We wouldn’t lose that special connection we have, we just… play into it.”

He can feel the tension and desperation waiting in his chest to take over. It sits there like a ball propelling him into anxiety. The woman in front of him, the one he tried so hard to forget about in that way, is basically offering herself up to him. It’s wrong, everything in his body screams for this to be a bad idea, yet nothing’s ever felt so right, either.

“You think it’d be that easy?” He asks, voice rough.

She licks her lips, the action an involuntarily one, but it mesmerizes him. Unlocking a darker, more sensual part of his psyche.

“I think so.”

She slides closer to him, not stopping until she’s practically sitting in his lap. Her big brown eyes pierce up at his, and for the first time he takes in the real root of her gaze.

It isn’t alcohol or intoxication—it’s lust and desire.

He’s not using her. He’s doing them both a favour. Forgetting about their own shitty personal lives, chasing pleasure he knows he can have with her.

“I want you.” He blurts out, grabbing her hips and holding her in place. “I want you, okay. I just don’t know how to do this again, I mean shit Gwen, it’s been years since…I don’t want to hurt you, I care about you too fucking much to do that.”

She tilts her head as his words register, dragging her hand down his arm.

“Tell me…What’s the first thing on your list? What do you need?”

He slowly smooths his hand over her cheek, slides it up the back of her neck and grabs a fistful of her hair. He pulls hard enough for her head to tip backwards, moving in right against her lips. “Control.”

They stare at each other in pure silence, her hair gathered in his rough hand, her hands splayed on his thigh. They both realize they’ve had this dream before, in the back of their minds, locked securely away until now.

“I trust you.” Gwen says, biting her lip. “I want to do this, Blake.”

“Fuck.” He breathes, loosening his grip on her and inhaling deeply.

“But you can’t always be in control.” She smirks, winking. “Too much control makes you fly off the handle…” She looks down and lifts his bruised hand up into view. “Which means, I’ll have to help you give it up sometimes too.”

Those words are probably the most expected ones he heard her speak all night.

He knows her; the Gwen he used to be with had no problem giving up control in the bedroom, but never without giving him a run for his money. This Gwen, the older, more confident one was about to be the death of him.

“Do I need a safe word?” He chuckles.

She looks at him hazardly.

“You and I?” She blushes. “I hardly doubt it.”


	2. 2.

His text was short and clear.

The reality of their situation finally sinking in: they were really about to do this.

Getting drunk with him wasn’t something she was a stranger to, they had done that numerous times before, but she can’t remember the last time they were intoxicated together and _single_.

Apparently, that turned into this. An agreement to a sexual arrangement that would totally disrupt the peaceful, strictly professional friendship they got going on for years.

It’s not totally unexpected though. The repressed sexual tension between them was always palpable, especially to the ones who knew them best. Denying only did so much, but late at night with all the lights down low and no one else to lay next to her, dreams and fantasies were the only things she could hold on to.

The exact same dreams and fantasies that are about to become reality.

She had been out all day, running errands and meeting with her good friend Caylee, when her phone buzzed with his text. _Come home_ , was all it said.

Her body immediately reacted to his words, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up while she bit her lip anxiously.

Her friend had to head home early luckily, so she didn’t have to bail on her mid hang out. The sky was becoming less bright as the evening descended on them and she feels her heart flutter inside her chest when she arrives at her front door. It’s weird to know he’s waiting for her inside, just like all those years ago, when she lived at the outskirts of town in a small apartment in which Blake and her hid away after all their classes.

He’s had the keys to her house in Nashville since she moved here, though he never used them. It was just something she felt comfortable with, especially since their writing sessions would frequently result in them spending late nights together. It was a natural progression, giving him her key, but nothing could’ve prepared her for this moment.

Her whole body aches for him.

She opens the door, taking in the lightly dimmed house. The only light that shined was the one in the kitchen. Her hand reaches out to flick the light on in the hallway, but she gaps when two strong hands prevent her from doing so.

She finds herself pushed back against the front door, a set of lips tracing across her cheek and slowly down her neck.

“Oh my god.” She whispers, leaning her head back against the door as she gives herself over to him quickly.

She feels his tongue dart out to taste her, grazing over the sensitive skin of her throat. His hands remain on her sides, gripping tightly to keep her in place.

“I waited to do this all damn day.” He growls against her neck, his voice as rough as his hold on her.

“Blake, please.”

His hands squeeze her hips once, before turning her around, stomach against the door. Her breath lunges in her chest, excitement and nerves creeping into her body fast. She knew her words would have an effect on him, never the one to resist her pleas. She feels his fingers hook underneath the hem of her shirt, pushing it up and over her head in an instant.

It was a crazy feeling; standing with her back to him, her now bare chest pressed against the front door, unable to see much due to the lack of lighting in the hallway.

It sent all her senses into overdrive.

Fingers trace down her bare back until she feels him flick open her bra. He lets it slide down her shoulders and arms, letting it gently hit the floor. He moves her hands back up to the door, his lips teasing the back of her neck.

“God, I missed this.” She hears him whisper against her skin, his breath tickling her shoulder blades.

Suddenly, his hands move up to her breasts, fondling and teasing her nipples.

Gwen lets out a soft moan and a shaky breath, fisting at the door as he teases her. She tries to change the course of his hand, but he just moves her further against the door, establishing his control in this moment.

She bites her lip, the anticipation in her body making it hard to keep standing.

“More Blake, please.”

He chuckles.

“Patience sweetheart.”

She lets out a frustrated whine, her forehead pressing into the door. She can hardly breathe with the way his hands tease her so deliberately, tweaking and lightly pulling at her erect nipples. Her mouth is dry, all the moisture seemingly having rushed to between her legs, and all she wants to do is reach a hand down her pants and relief herself of some of the pressure there. She knows an action like that will only result in him snatching her hand away and prolonging the teasing, so she urges herself to stay still and take his torturous touches.

“Doing okay?” He murmurs against her cheek, the amusement in his voice evident. “Something you need?”

She grits her teeth together, her underwear soaked at this point.

“You know what I need.” She whispers.

His low chuckle vibrates through her body, her eyes closing tightly.

“Don’t move.” He orders, his body leaving hers.

She becomes fidgety when he’s not pressing her into the door any longer, her back riding with goosebumps at the sudden cold she feels exposed to. She hears the sound of his belt coming undone, his zipper next, and she’s beyond tempted to turn around and look. It takes all her willpower to stand still, unmoving, just the way he asked of her.

She yelps when his hands tug her body closer, her back pressed against his chest, arms snaking around her waist as his hands splay across her stomach. She’s no longer standing near the door, her breath hammering as she becomes painfully aware of Blake’s boxers being the only layer of clothing still staining his body. She wants to turn around, turn on the lights and run her hands over every inch of exposed flesh; it’s been over a decade since she last seen it, since she last _felt_ it.

When she seemed to be tortured enough, he finally turns and lifts her, carrying her to her room. She nuzzles his neck while chuckling, relieved to notice his own control slipping.

Her back hits the mattress next, and it’s the first time she’s actually able to see him. Her breath staggers in her throat by the way he’s looking at her; a mixture of arousal and testosterone fighting for dominance. His body looks as good as she remembers it, the way she saw him in the rehearsal room yesterday only a tease of what she’s seeing now. He bites his lip while looking at her and she needs to get out of her clothing—now.

He looks down at her mischievously, reading her mind.

“Take it off.” Comes his next order, and she practically swoons at the command.

She pulls of her jeans in a hurry, his hand stopping hers when she tries to take off her underwear too.

“Let me.” He says softly, his order more gently put this time. She lets herself fall back to the mattress again, her eyes tracing every movement of Blake’s.

He hovers on top of her, spreading her legs enough to rest in between them.

“Let’s play a game.” He whispers against her skin, placing soft and unexpected kisses down her stomach. Her chest rises and falls quickly with the arousal coursing through her, and she’s having trouble focusing on his words. “I know what you want and I’ll give it to you, but you have to be quiet. Make a sound and I’ll just make you wait for it longer.”

“ _Blake_...” She whines, bucking her hips up at him once.

He clicks with his tongue disapprovingly, pushing her hips down roughly.

“Don’t play with me, Gwen.” He warns, his hands trailing down to her thighs and back up, his mouth moving to right above her panties. “Ready to listen?”

There’s really nothing she wants more than to buck up at him and be defiant, her body already desperate for a release—and that’s exactly why she decides to give into his request, not able to wait any longer than she needs to.

She bites her lip so hard she’s afraid she’ll draw blood before nodding.

“Good girl.” He whispers right before taking off the last bit of clothing shielding her from him.

Her breath stutters out when she feels his mouth kiss the top of her center, his hands spreading her legs wider. Another moan escapes her when he finally darts out his tongue to taste her, her head flying back into her pillow. It’s been so long since she’s been with him, she almost forgot how good he was at this.

“Quiet, Gwen.” He murmurs against her, letting her know it was the first and final warning before he’d drag things out.

He licks at her folds softly, before gently sucking at her clit, a scream etched from her throat. Her hips start bucking from side to side, desperately wanting more and simultaneously not able to handle the maddening tease of his tongue. He grabs her hips again, roughly pulling her back into place. Between his hands and tongue, she has nowhere to go, except for giving in to the overwhelming pleasure he provides between her legs.

His tongue slips inside deeply, while his thumb massages against her clit. Her ragged breathes become louder and she bites her lip to keep from making actual sounds.

“You taste so damn good, baby.” The vibration of his voice against her sensitive flesh causing her to cry out.

He chuckles, the overload of sensations making her grip onto his curls.

“You aren’t allowed to make any sounds.” He warns, his tongue no longer touching her.

“I know, I’m sorry.” She whimpers, her hands trying to tug him back towards her center. “Please.”

“You’ll have to wait.” He replies, moving up her body but never quite touching, his arms holding him up so she no longer has the pressure of his weight on top of her.

Her eyes close again, her heart thumping against her chest. She feels the tension in her body like a bomb waiting to explode, the urge to move her hips up and try to build some pressure almost too hard to ignore.

She doesn’t remember him being this patient when they were together. Passion was often something he couldn’t ignore, couldn’t withstand. When he wanted her, he’d barely be able to wait. Maybe it was a sign of his youthfulness back then, or maybe he’s just gotten even better in making her want him. Not just fantasizing about what it would be like to have him, but actually _ache_ for him.

His lips travel to her ear, nibbling on her lobe. “Still want me, Gwen?”

It dawns on her that even while he’s getting off on dominating her, he’s still making sure she’s comfortable, silently asking for permission to go on. She bites her lip and nods, refraining from using any sounds.

She can feel him smirk against her cheek.

Her heart is beating too incredibly fast when she watches him slide his boxers down and off, his hips pushing firmly between her thighs again. She can’t help but let her hands wander over his chest then, unable to withstand the tease of having him so close and not being able to do anything. She knows they’re still playing out this fantasy of his, but it’s clear they’re both hit with the same realization right now.

They’re about to do this again, for the first time in ten years.

She holds her breath, feels him raise her thigh high enough before he pushes forward and fills her completely, with one hard thrust. He groans in her ear as she whimpers, feeling him slide home after all this time.

She knows she technically slipped up, but Blake seems to recognize the moment as an emotional threshold, so to speak. Her eyes fill at the amazing feeling of having him like this again. She widens her stance a little, opening herself up to him, allowing her walls to adjust to the sudden intrusion. He doesn’t move, giving her the time she needs.

After a few moments like that, she nods up at him.

He is thrusting then, rocking hard, filling her completely. She takes a moment to find her bearings before she meets his thrusts, matching his intensity blow for blow. She cries out when he finds that place inside her with ease, one of her hands flying up to cover her mouth.

He shakes his head at her, grabbing her hand and placing it back on the bed.

“Don’t cheat.” He whispers roughly.

“Blake, please.”

Just like that, his thrusting stops, stilling all the way inside her.

“Don’t please, I’ll be quiet, just…. _fuck_.” She cries, nails digging into his back.

“I warned you.”

“I know.” She breathes, voice dropping down to a whisper. She inhales deeply before trying to relax underneath him, biting her lip again as to show him she’s fighting back any sounds she might feel compelled to make.

He seems satisfied with the sight as he resumes moving inside her, starting out slowly before picking the pace back up. His moans are jagged in her ear and she’s breathing heavily into his neck in return. It’s building within her and she can’t help but get overwhelmed by the way he’s taking her. She feels his strength, his love, even his pain from all the years they weren’t together. He has her at his complete mercy this time, and her need for control is quietly slipping away with each thrust. He’s practically whimpering into her neck and she knows she’s driven him to the point of no return tonight.

His hips continue to slam against hers anything but gently, and it’s exactly what she needs. Brute force between her legs counteracting the gentle love she usually feels radiating off him. He surprises her when his fingers dig into her waist and pull her upward. She tightens the hold she has around his neck as he lifts them into a sitting position and she sinks down into his lap.

His cock slides in deep within her and she groans at the depth in which he fills her. She tightens her arms around his neck like she’s holding on for dear life, before he slams her back down again. She lets her knees dig into the covers of her bed as she lets herself rise and sink back down on her own accord. It’s a tiny bit of control she’s trying to regain back, and Blake chuckles when he notices. He doesn’t force her to keep still anymore though, let’s her guide their rhythm for a while.

He groans against her throat as she continues the motion, increasing the rate until she’s slamming her ass into his lap.

“Enough.” He growls, holding her still again. “Slow down.”

She shakes her head, feeling her orgasm _this_ close and only needing a bit more of the brutal rhythm she started to set for them.

“Not up to you, darlin’.” He reminds her. “Not tonight.”

She feels his hand move up to the side of her torso, gracing her breast while the other rakes into the back of her hair. Her eyes pinch closed when he tugs her head forward and pries her lips apart with his own. She kisses him back slowly, focusing on the way his tongue is teasing her and his hips start a gentle rocking into her. As her teeth clamp down on his lower lip, she must’ve lost her train of thought because she’s lifted so high he’s slipped out of her. She tries to sink back down without breaking their kiss, but she can’t seem to position herself. She slips a hand off his shoulder and between their legs, grasping his length and trying to reposition him. Instead, he’s moving her backwards again, making it clear that he’s trying to get her to lay down again.

When she does, he slides back in again, her hand slamming against the headboard.

“It’s okay.” He whispers, licking at her earlobe again. “Game is over, baby girl. Let me hear you.”

She expects to feel his grip on her hips again, but instead he moves his hands up her elbows, up her forearms, until his fingers interlace with hers. He exhales into her neck, her heart racing so fast she thinks she might pass out. It’s a move much more intimate than she anticipated, but one she doesn’t necessarily resents.

“Fuck Gwen, you feel so good…” His words drift off as he pushes deeper inside her and she uses the little leverage she has to push back against him.

She feels the pressure between her legs starting to build and she needs his strength, his vigor from before. She can’t deal with his slow, torturous torment. Since she can’t control much in this moment, she settles for the next best thing.

“Harder.” She breathes out, her voice a deep rasp. This whole night being a long, excruciating tease for her.

His fingers sink into the skin of her hips, more than satisfied with her brash request. He moves out again, this time thrusting himself more forcefully between her legs. She moans in response, the rate which he’s rocking inside her making her mind spin.

She holds her breath, concentrating solely on taking him. She moves her hips in rhythm with his, but is restricted by his pace, his hands. High pitch moans escape her now, curses falling from her mouth in conjunction with his name. It’s never been this good with anybody else, could never be. Her mouth is completely dry now and the orgasm she is so desperate to release builds intently. Her body is trembling, her lungs struggling to retain oxygen. She never imagined to be this inhibited, but he incites this need inside her. So she lets him have her. over. And over. And over.

She caves then, orgasm rippling through her as she clenches around him, completely succumbing to the pleasure that shatters through her. It triggers his own climax too, his yell colliding with hers as her body clamps around his cock. He tenses against her before his warmth spills between her legs and his weight collapses heavily on her top of her.

She swallows when she feels his hips shift against her, as she thinks for a moment he’s going to move off her already. He doesn’t, though. Instead he shifts his weight so he’s not as heavy on top of her anymore, but continues to lay half onto her. Her heart rate slowly starts to drift into a steady thrum and her body tingles all over when she feels his lips scrape the bare column of her neck.

“Jesus Christ, Gwen.” He whispers against her hair, and she couldn’t have said it better herself.

She closes her eyes with a smile, her hand smoothing up his back and shoulders and a flood of goosebumps erupt across his flesh in response. She feels his hand reach for hers, slowly interlacing her fingers with his. It’s not until that very moment that she manages to release her first steady breath in a long time.


	3. 3.

Gwen’s stride through the bar is purposeful—single minded, she didn’t look about her as she walked. A plethora of eyes raked across the curves of her body as she manoeuvred through bustling tables and yet she seemed to have no sense that anyone was watching her.

If this wasn’t something they’d planned before, he’d think she didn’t even know he was there.

She takes a seat at the bar, a punctuated ‘thank you’ exiting her lips as she takes a sip of the brown liquid that’s being pushed in front of her quickly.

He’s not surprised to learn that she’s quite willed, quite fast. He gritted his teeth once already when she sat down a few bar stools away from him, but he’s really being tested when another guy tugs his stool a bit closer to hers. She plays with the straw in her glass as the man leans forward to whisper something in her ear, her smile widening with whatever he’s saying to her.

He knows what they came here to do, knows her instincts are marred by booze, her body consumed with desire and as her eyes move back briefly to make sure he’s watching, he sees her sexual tunnel vision.

_They’re going to fuck._

Whoever this guy is, is merely a pawn in their twisted game for the night. Yet, he finds it hard to keep himself together as he watches this stranger be all over her.

He watches her lure liquid through the straw all the while eying this guy intently, and he wonders if part of her is enjoying the attention he’s giving her, enjoys the push and pull—if she’s secretly enamoured by it.

They had just finished another writing session earlier today, and she had leaned into his space before he could even think to drive them home. The insanity of her idea had been shocking at first, but quickly became one he couldn’t pass down. He’s only now realizing that this play of hers, gives her complete and utter control. They didn’t agree on a time they’d meet, just said they’d be at the bar around nine, play out what it would’ve been like if they met like normal people; at a bar, as adults, ready for a one-night stand.

Blake draws an ice cube into his mouth and swirls it back and forth as a distraction before he finally tears his eyes away. A wave of misplaced anger and arousal intermingle as one while he crunches the ice between his teeth. He wants to play off this intense reaction to seeing her flirt with someone else as being protective, but he knows it’s way more than that.

His eyes reluctantly move back to her and he watches as she moves the straw from her drink and drains it down to ice before she’s motioning to the bartender. A row of shots get stacked in front of her—six generous cylinders of brown liquid—three in front of each other. She tips the first shot back before the guy next to her has even lifted his.

Blake’s eyes narrow.

She may be flirty, carefree and playful tonight, but she’s acting reckless. He wants to know how often she used to do this and how many times he wasn’t the one who would take her home. His mind is reeling as he scrubs a hand down his face. He’s unable to fathom how he is still sitting here—watching her, waiting, instead of intervening.

It dawns on him then; that’s her play.

She’s baiting him. Waiting for him to lose control and walk up there. She’s teasing him.

He wonders how tipsy she is right now. She never drank much as long as he’s known her, and she had always been a lightweight ever since her college days. The deep glass she devoured when she first got here was a while ago, but the multiple shots she threw back like they were nothing was merely minutes ago. He can still see that goddamn million-dollar smile on her lips, and the man next to her seems eager to move their ‘date’ to a new setting.

Gwen smiles at the stranger like she’s seriously considering his offer and Blake feels the muscles in his jaw tighten, an overwhelming urge to push this man away from her ripping through his chest. It’s something uncomfortable pushing against his heart.

Possession.

Jealousy.

Envy.

 _Desire_.

When her giggle is so over-dramatic it even reaches his ears, he stands up so quickly he almost loses his balance. He takes a deep breath before downing the last of his drink and slams it down on the counter, making his way over to the woman in the skin-tight black dress.

He’s suddenly aware he didn’t anticipate he’d have to play the part of whisking her away from anyone tonight, but he thinks this might be the only part he doesn’t have to act. His discomfort is all the way real. His need to get this guy away from Gwen realer than anything he’s felt in a long time.

“Sorry to interrupt.” He drawls, leaning his body in between her and the maddening stranger, the shocked look on her face giving him at least a little satisfaction. “You look familiar. Gwen, am I right?”

Her mouth opens to say something, her face portraying shock but her eyes showing something entirely different. He almost feels angry at the way she’s so obvious about it—she’s amused.

“I’m sorry Noah, rain check?” She offers softly, her hand pushing at Blake’s side to get him out of the way and he’s almost certain he’s gonna cuss _Noah_ out if it takes him any longer to take a hike.

She winces when he walks away after a few more agonizing minutes, ever so slowly turning around to face Blake. Her uncomfortable gaze turns into something much darker, more exciting and he’s close to losing it right there.

“Took you long enough.” She murmurs quietly, turning around to order another drink.

“ _Don’t_.” He growls, not knowing his voice would come out sounding like that.

She cocks her head. “I was gonna order another drink.”

“I know.” He says. “Don’t.”

“Why not?”

He bites his lip, mouth drying at the sight of her pushing the fabric of her dress down over her thighs from where it had ridden up a bit.

“Cause I waited long enough.”

She shakes her head disapprovingly, the frustration from earlier rushing back to him instantly.

“I saw you staring for a while, you know?” She says lowly, biting her lip. “You could’ve stopped it sooner, I know you wanted to.”

“I didn’t wanna hurt your little friend’s feelings.”

“That’s a lot of possessive talk for a someone I _just_ met.”

He’s almost surprised to find out she wants to keep appearances up, the whole act honestly forgotten on him. He regains his bearings, clearing his throat, fighting the urge to fuck her right there.

“I wanna take you home.” He says, voice low and deliberate as he steps closer to her. He has to actively bend down to whisper in her ear next. “I saw the way you were looking at me too, by the way. Don’t pretend like you don’t want to get out of here just as badly as I do.”

She bites her lip again, the motion driving him crazy.

“Hmmm.” She hums, like she’s pondering over the prospect. “I think I have a better idea, actually.”

Blake’s already annoyed, tired of her dragging this out.

“And what would that be?”

She smirks devilishly.

“Follow me.” She insists, before walking out in front of him.

It’s hard keeping his eyes off her, so he doesn’t. The back of her dress looks even shorter than the front, her slim and long legs completely visible, her ass barely covered. She’s wearing the sexiest heels he’s ever seen, and damn, she really only got better with time.

That’s not something he just noticed either, but it is something that he can finally admit out loud without hating himself for it.

He’s _allowed_ to notice now.

He wants to call out her name, ask why the hell they’re going further inside instead of heading out towards his car, but it dawns on him that in their play—he doesn’t know her name, they never even got that far. He’s seriously regretting not taking the role play thing more seriously from the start, because he can’t do anything but follow her quietly now.

She bats her lashes at him a few times before leading him towards the restrooms, his eyes widening when she takes a good look around and drags him into the lady’s stall with her.

He’s regaining his bearings when she locks the door behind them, her teeth digging deep into her bottom lip. He wants to growl at her, tell her to quit it, but his throat feels too dry to speak.

“My name’s Gwen by the way.” She smirks, holding out her hand.

He chuckles, shaking it, though it feels like a backward notion; already standing in a public restroom with her, bedroom eyes showing him there’s no turning back now.

“Blake.” He says.

“Well Blake.” She says lowly. “I gotta warn you, I usually don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?” Blake pushes, suddenly growing interested in the façade she’s creating.

“Hook up with strangers in public.”

“Really?” He asks, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The way you were flirting with that guy back there was surely suggesting otherwise.”

She flashes that damn smile again, causing both annoyance and arousal to course his body with the speed of lightening, causing him to get dizzy.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous.”

“How can I be jealous of someone I’ve never met before?”

“Beats me.”

“Gwen.” He grunts, taking a step forward, reaching for her hand.

She pulls back just in time. “What?”

“I’m done playing.” He warns, grabbing her arm and yanking hard.

She crashes into his chest, her eyes looking up at him with a mixture of longing and defiance in her glance. She places both hands on his chest, creating a barrier between their bodies.

“What do you want?” She asks, licking her lips.

“You know what I want.” He answers desperately, hands starting to tug at the hem of her dress.

She slaps his hands away, backing away from his touch.

“Tell me what you want or you don’t get me.”

His jeans were becoming painfully tight, the sight she made for in that damn dress making his head spin in the best and worst ways. He couldn’t think straight, his blood rushing everywhere but to his brain.

“Shit Gwen, I want you.” He says roughly, pulling her into him again. “Come here. Gwen, please.”

He was getting tired of waiting, but she seemed to enjoy having him in this place way too much. Her smile grows wider, her hands pushing him against the wall of the enclosed environment.

“Please, what?” She pushes, her hands sliding past his belt buckle without making a move to undo it.

“Please let me fuck you.”

Her nod in agreement was the prettiest thing ever, everything suddenly moving in a rapid pace. He tugs at her panties beneath her dress, shimmying them down her thighs far enough. Her hands are rapidly tugging for his belt to come loose, and before she can unzip his pants, he’s turning her around and placing both her hands on the wall in front of her.

He roughly unzips his pants, lowers them just enough to take himself in hand and stroke a few times. His free hand moves to her spine, positioning her so she’s arching slightly, her back bowed gorgeously as she eagerly awaits him.

He can tell she’s getting impatient, and oh how the tables have turned.

Blake groans when he feels the heat of her center on his cock, pushing the tip into her slowly, giving her time to adjust.

She smothers her moan with her own hand, the other one clawing desperately at the wall. The sounds of their skin slapping together grows louder, his groans getting harder to disguise. She’s moving her hips back to him, responding to every push and pull and it’s almost too much. The blissful feeling of being buried so deep inside her would never get old, but never did he think he would get to experience the feeling again anywhere but in his dreams.

He can feel her body starting to get tighter already, a moan escaping her mouth as his rhythm picks up. When her legs start trembling too, he slaps her ass in warning.

She gets the hint—he knew she would.

Her back arches when he pushes harder, her hands slipping on the wall as she desperately tries to keep standing. He leans forward to press his lips against her neck, one of his hands sliding across her throat to keep her in place.

“Fuck. Just like that, Gwen.”

He knows she’s close when he brings a hand to her clit, his tongue lapping at her neck while his fingers and cock work her over relentlessly. He feels her clenching around him again, and he shakes his head with a smirk. “Not yet, Gwen.”

“Oh God.” She moans, her head falling back against his shoulder. “Blake, please.”

Her whispers and moans are quiet, but he can tell she’s struggling to keep her sounds at a minimum. It’s strangely hot to see her bite back her sounds, no matter how much he loves hearing them. He knows he’s got the advantage of knowing her body better than anybody else, the relationship they used to have in the past serving like a road map for where to go to make her lose control fast. He’s using her body against her in the nicest way he knows how, though it borderlines on cruel tonight.

“Blake.” She whispers again, eyes shutting tightly. “I’m so close, I can’t— “

“Yes you can.” He hisses. “Wait for it.”

She responds by shuddering against him, biting her lip hard. He pulls her body impossibly closer against him, tugging at her hair to make her arch against him. He can tell by the look on her face that she’s struggling to keep her orgasms at bay, the sight only propelling him closer to his own release.

“You wanna cum now, baby?” He drawls against her ear.

She nods, her throat too tight to speak, her eyes remaining closed.

“Look at me.” He demands softly, wanting to see the look in her eyes when she finally succumbs to pleasure.

He doesn’t know how they do it, but they’re absolutely in synch the whole time, the push and pull of their bodies working just so they both chase that perfect release they can only ever find with each other. Her eyes open at his demand, his hips still maintaining a brutal force between her legs.

“Cum for me.”

She vibrates against him immediately, a way too loud cry of his name flying out of her mouth. His hand covers her lips to block the next one, continuing to hit that spot inside her and overload her with the pleasure that’s currently wracking her body. She tries to hold on to him, clawing at his arm that is holding her up.

He can’t hold back either, his grunt muffled into her shoulder as he comes. The white-hot pleasure ripples through every inch of him, Gwen’s inner muscles milking him until he’s got nothing left.

Gwen’s starting to relax in his hold again, craning her neck to find his lips. He realizes that throughout the whole thing, they hadn’t once kissed and it was different for the both of them. He can’t remember there ever being a time where kissing was _not_ part of sex for them, and there’s a weird tingling feeling in his chest when she reaches up and silently asks for some lazy kisses now.

“That was hot, Blake.” She whispers, voice scratchy and used.

Blake chuckles behind her, arms loosening when she tries to stand on her own and adjusts her panties and dress back into place.

“It was.”

“I need a shower now, though.”

His mind is already thinking about joining her, but he knows that isn’t part of the game they got going on. It’s becoming harder to differentiate reality from his fantasies, this agreement they got going on fucking with everything he thought he knew.

He was over her. He might not have been able to completely fall out of love with her, but he moved on from the idea of ever being in a relationship with her again. Accepted it.

The anger and frustration he felt earlier tonight had vanished completely, quite literally had fucked it out. He’s left with one hell of a problem though; right along with his anger, his acceptance had vanished too.


	4. 4.

“The song’s great.” Scotty says, eying them both. “It’s just not what people want to hear right now.”

Gwen tries to not let the insult weaken her, but she feels the air leave her lungs despite of it.

“What are you talking about?” She croaks. “This song talks about the multiple faucets of love; the ways it can built and break a person. Everyone can relate to that in some way.”

“It’s dark, Gwen.” Their manager retorts, wincing. “I’m not trying to hurt you guys, it’s a good song. It’s just not one that anyone’s gonna cut anytime soon.”

Gwen lets out a breath, looking over at Blake for support.

Blake scoots back on the leather couch, fingers rubbing against each other. He doesn’t seem surprised to hear their manager’s words, and she’s frustrated by the lack of fight he’s willing to put up today.

“Country music cares about storytelling.” He says softly, sitting back.

“And sometimes they just care about getting a good karaoke song to sing when they get drunk in a bar.” Scotty continues. “Write a song like _that_ , and we’re back in business.”

“We’re not about to dumb ourselves down for another hit.” Gwen states, offended that he even seemed to have insinuated that.

“We have to rethink our strategy here, Gwen.” Scotty says, remaining infuriatingly calm. “Especially since our collaboration with Hillary flew out of the window a couple weeks ago. We had a clear path, a plan, but that’s no longer in the works. We need to focus on other artists. Not everyone wants to sing about the dark parts of love. Remember that.”

Gwen turns her head back to Blake; his eyes having darkened at the mention of their old friend.

“We’ll figure something out.” Blake says eventually, ignoring Gwen’s heated glance.

“I know.” Their manager responds pointedly. “I have no doubt about that. I’ll leave you guys to it, we’ll talk later. The talent is all there, so is the drive; another hit is inevitable.”

The lean and confident guy steps outside of the studio determinedly, leaving Gwen and Blake sitting alone in the remaining quiet. Gwen shoots another glance over to Blake, waiting for an explanation or an apology, she’s not quite sure.

“What was that?” She asks when the silence gets too heavy.

“I was just trying to get him off our backs, Gwen.”

“Really? Cause it sounded to me like you just gave up.”

He finally looks up at her. “We make good music, it’s only a matter of time before someone catches on again and cuts our demo.”

“What if they don’t?”

“You gotta have faith.”

She scoffs. “Right.”

“You can’t control everything, Gwen.” He reminds her, getting up from the couch and reaching for his jacket. “I’m going home, want me to pick up any groceries?”

She walks over to him, his words causing an eruption in her mind.

“Are you saying you have no problem with everyone else making decisions for us? Controlling what we worked so hard to build.”

Blake shakes his head.

“I’m saying that control isn’t always everything.” He replies softly. “Sometimes you gotta let go, do the best you can and believe it will all work out.”

“I can’t do that.”

“You have to.” He says, holding her gaze. “We work in the most out of control field there is. There are no guarantees in this job; we do our best and hope someone catches on. You can’t predict a hit; you can’t even predict a collaboration. You’ll feel better once you realize some things are just out of your control, and instead of fighting it, you accept it.”

Gwen bites her lip, the idea swirling around in her head before she has the guts to say it out loud.

“Sounds like you’re pretty good at giving up control.”

Blake chuckles lowly. “Not nearly as good as you think.”

“Maybe I can help you with that.”

Her heart is hammering with every breath she takes, her breath coming out in shorter and faster spurts. His darkening gaze hones in on her, his hands itching against his sides.

“What are you talking about, Gwen?”

She fills the silence with erotic dread, caught between genuine anticipation and desperate hope. She’s never been good at giving up control and she remembers Blake’s desperate plea for exactly _that_ when they began their arrangement. She thinks it’s time to fight for _her_ end of the bargain.

“I’m saying…” She whispers, leaning into his space, moving up her tiptoes and smiling right against his ear. “That tonight, we do things my way.”

His hands finally take claim of her hips, holding her close.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you’ll do what I say. It means that you’re gonna give up control, show me how it’s done.”

Her voice is nothing but a low murmur and she already feels the beginning of his arousal starting to press against her thigh. She’s never been able to truly dive into this inhibited side of her with anyone else, never trusting the other person enough to be this transparent, but she knows that with Blake, it’s gonna be the best experience ever.

He bites his lip before smoothing it over with his tongue.

“I think I can do that.”

“Good.” Gwen says, pulling back from his ear and creating some space between their bodies. “I’ll meet you at home in about an hour. I have one last thing I gotta do.”

Blake doesn’t ask what, can see in her eyes that he’ll find out soon enough.

“See you at home.” He winks.

\--

He looks at her expectantly, the beer in his hand untouched when she orders him to follow her into the bedroom, no other words spoken. He leaves his drink on the kitchen counter, following her with a certain darkness in his eyes. She knows he’s aware of what’s gonna happen tonight, _sort of_ , but she wants him nervous—anticipatory.

“I’ll be right there.” She promises, sneaking into the small bathroom and instructing him to wait for her.

The Blake she knows always had trouble following orders, and as much as he was lecturing her earlier today about giving up control, she knows it’s not in his nature to do so either. She’s gonna have fun pushing him a bit tonight, revelling in the thrilling sensation it shoots up her spine.

She gets rid of her clothing, pulling out the freshly bought lingerie set out of her bag. She knew the store would still be open if she hurried out of the studio to get it. The black and red lace hugged her body just right, the matching panties doing very little to hide her assets. She smiles into the mirror when she takes in her overly sexualized frame, biting her lip in mischief.

“Ready cowboy?” She asks, popping only her head out of the bathroom door, watching as Blake waits for her on the bed, nothing but his boxers clinging onto his hips.

“Been ready for about an hour.”

“Don’t get smart.” She warns him playfully, pulling herself back into the bathroom and glancing at the mirror one last time.

She takes a deep breath before sauntering into the bedroom, the sway of her hips conveying her confidence and claimed control in this moment. His eyes widen when he takes her in and she can tell he’s breathing heavier due to the violent rising of his chest.

“You like it?” She asks, giving him a little spin.

“Jesus.” He chokes out, sitting upright on the bed and reaching his arms out for her.

“ _Uh-uh.”_ She chuckles, telling him to lay back down before climbing on top of him, straddling his waist. He already looks like he’s in torture, his eyes working overtime to take in every single inch of her. His hands move to her hips, but she smacks them away quickly. “You do as I say, remember? I didn’t tell you to touch me yet.”

She rocks a bit on top of him, feeling the hardening bulge inside his boxers.

“You trust me, right?” She whispers lowly, sliding her hands up and down his bare chest.

“You know I do.” He manages to force out, breathing hard and heavy as she continues to shift on top of him, causing great discomfort to his growing arousal.

She leans over him, giving him a wicked view of her breasts while opening the top drawer of her nightstand. She retrieves a pair of black handcuffs, twirling them devilishly around her finger before sitting back on top of him.

His eyes widen. “You bought those too?”

“I’ve had them for a while.” She admits. “Never got to use them on anyone else, though.”

She can see his breath catching, knows that the image of her tied down for somebody else runs vividly through his mind. She bites onto her bottom lip, leaning down to kiss him briefly.

“Put your hands up against the headboard.” She instructs.

His eyes search for hers again, his jaw clenching a few times. She waits for him patiently, smiling when he slowly moves his hands up and lays them on the pillow above him, knuckles scraping the headboard.

She’s quick to snap the cuffs into place, tugging a few times to make sure she’s got him where she wants him. He looks at her a bit pained and she finally grants him some relieve, sliding down to in between his legs and sucking and licking at the flesh above his waistband. His eyes close while letting out a hissed groan.

There’s nothing but bare skin underneath her mouth, a slight trembling of hard muscle when she reaches for his boxers and tugs it down his legs. A mixture of nerves, anxiety and desire getting the best of him.

One hand loops gently around his dick, his small forward jerk of his hips making her chuckle. She hums when he grits his teeth at her impatiently, leaning forward to lick him once from root to tip like a melting ice pop.

“Oh fuck.” He whispers, gasping when she takes him into her mouth completely.

She can tell he’s stunned by the way she so willingly works him all the way down her throat, straining to keep her eyes locked with his.

He starts thrusting his hips a little when she gets into a determined and fast rhythm, his hands tugging at the cuffs in despair. She knows if he had the usage of his hands right now, they would be in her hair, tugging and pulling. Instead, he can’t do anything but watch her work him closer to that edge, his hips making small circular movements.

She’s never had an experience like this before; an all-consuming give and take, a balance. She’s never had a lover give her what she wants like this, the way she needs it. In return, she feels the rawest desire to give him what he needs too.

Just not too soon.

She stops when he’s close to coming, wiping the corners of her mouth and moving back up his body. He groans in frustrations, the cuffs moving again with the force in which he tugs at them.

“Gwen, God damnit.”

“You need to calm down, baby.” She teases, moving her hands like feathers over his skin. She grazes every inch of his chest and stomach. “You’re giving up control tonight, remember?”

“I’m tied up, about to orgasm while you’re on top teasing the shit out of me. What part of you feels like I haven’t given up control right now?”

“You’re pulling at your restraints, hissing at me like you’re still in a position to give orders.”

“ _Gwen_.”

“You need to tear down these walls sometimes and I’m the only one you’ll ever let yourself do that with.” She whispers, snapping her teeth down onto his earlobe, pulling and sucking before letting it go. She knows she’s driving him crazy, hot and throbbing, and she has to ask. “Who else have you done this for?”

She moves down to his throat, kissing hotly over his skin before nipping and biting, leaving deep red marks in her wake.

“God, never.” He whispers, eyes slipping closed.

She smiles proudly to herself, finger swirling over his nipple as a low moan leaves his mouth.

“Tonight you give me all the control, baby.” She slips her palm in between their bodies, positioning him against her center. “Understand?”

“Yes.”

Neither of them has been given the freedom to explore their needs and desires like this before. Both are unsure of what will happen now all of that’s unleashed, the nerves and excitement causing it to be hard to focus.

She kisses him once, seemingly calming them both down a bit as she sinks onto him. She pushes slowly, watching his eyes widen with every inch of him she takes.

A mutual grunt flies into the air as his skin hits hers as his entire length is buried inside her. Her mouth hangs open a bit, trying to adjust to the feeling of being with him like this, every time feeling like the first. Her lips curl into a sly grin when she realizes he’s fighting to keep his eyes open, wanting to watch every second of this.

She picks up the pace then, riding him quick and deep while his fingers grip at air.

She brings her hands up to his shoulder blades, supporting herself while her lashes flutter with the need to close her eyes. She tries not to succumb to the pleasure she’s creating by rocking against his length, feeling him reach those spots only he ever could.

“Shit.” He groans, feeling his control fall off his body like rolling rain water. “You feel so good baby.”

“God yes.” She moans, staring down at him.

She moves closer, feeling her body starting to bend to his will a little. When she’s in close enough proximity for him, his tongue darts out to lick at her breast, the only thing he can do with his hands still tied above his head.

His hips buck up into her, trying to establish a rhythm.

He keeps his eyes on hers as he thrusts up into her, fucking her slow and deep as his mouth continues the onslaught on her left nipple.

She moans as her eyes roll back, feeling her body losing the control it’s so desperately trying to hold on to. She fights it until she can’t anymore and breathes sharply.

“Oh God Blake.”

He lets her nipple go with a wet sound, forehead pressed against hers now. “That’s it. Just cum for me.”

His words snap her out of her daze, her head shaking as she pushes him back down and sits up on top of him again. He can tell she’s reclaiming her earlier control and the grunt that leaves his lips is loud and inhibited.

“Gwen please.” He begs, rocking his hips up into her. “Let me touch you, I need to feel you.”

“No.”

She keeps their pace slow but forceful, his dick hitting her spot every time and her face crumbles as she tries to hold on.

“Please.” He pleads again, moaning louder when she tightens around him again. “I’ll do what you want, anything, just…let me touch you.”

She bites her lip, slowing her movements.

“Anything?” She whispers.

“God yes.” He breathes. “Whatever you want.”

She moves over him again, this time to grab the keys from the nightstand and unlock his cuffs. His hands fall back to the mattress, a grateful look on his face, yet he doesn’t make a move to touch her yet. She smiles filthily when she realizes he’s waiting for her approval.

She kisses him slowly, pulling him up so he’s sitting upright, his length still buried inside her from where she’s now sitting in his lap. The new position causes him to slide even deeper, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

She pulls his hands to her hips, silently telling him it’s okay to touch her now.

They continue their steady and passionate pace, his arms coming around her and pulling her closer into his chest. He kisses her deeply and she’s too lost in sensation to stop him. She claws at his shoulder, nails digging into his skin so hard she’d be surprised if she didn’t rip skin.

He drives into her again, watching her face contort and her lips curl.

“I’m so close, Gwen. Please, you first.”

She shakes her head, clawing at him again.

“No.” She moans, her body working to meet his deep and slow thrusting. “Together.”

Neither one are about to last much longer and when Blake sucks at her pulse point coupled with a hard thrust of his hips, she starts to shake uncontrollably.

“Oh my god.” She cries, the yell ripped from her throat as she seizes. Her muscles tense and she tightens hard around his dick. She curls around him as her nails claw at the broken skin of his shoulders and back.

He holds her against him, his hands now leaving fingerprint bruises on her side as he uses all his strength to thrust again. He manages to slide in and out a few more times, his own orgasm hitting him hard.

“Fuck, fuck.” He groans.

There’s a moment of pure oblivion. They can’t hear anything else, all thought seems to cease to exist. They’re not sure how they’d got into their current position, wrapped around each other, in the middle of the bed. Their heads are bent and nestled in each other’s neck, slowly kissing and biting on each other’s pulse.

He’s the first to speak on trembling words.

“Did I hurt you?” he whispers, looking down at the purple ovals his fingers pressed into her sides.

She moans and shakes her head.

“Did I hurt _you_?” She retorts, finger swiping against a drop of blood on his shoulder.

“Loved every second of it.” He chuckles, pushing away from her to look into her eyes. “Damnit Gwen, did we really just— “

“We did.” She cuts him off, biting her lip. “That was a first for me. It’s never been like that… I mean, that was incredible.”

His lips silence her and she kisses him back deeply.

“You kept your word.” She muses against his lips. “I’m impressed.”

He chuckles and brushes her nose with his. “Only for you.”

The words cause a weird stirring inside her, the realization hitting her hard: they’re just fucking, they’re not exclusive, he can do this with anyone else if he pleases.

Though his words confirm the opposite, she can’t let herself get too sucked in.

She rocks her hips again, knowing it’s way too soon after his orgasm for the sensation to feel pleasurable. He grunts in her ear, hands tightening against her hips involuntarily.

“Let’s see what you come up with next.” She whispers playfully into the space between them, before ushering her body off him.

He brushes a hand over his face, letting out a trembling breath.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?”

She moves off the bed, her shaky legs barely strong enough to carry her into the bathroom. She gives him a sweet smile before disappearing into the other room, her head leaning against the closed door. Her heart is hammering, every suppressed feeling for him rushing back to the surface.

She needs a shower.

A damn cold one.


	5. 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit more angst in this one and a little less smut. It wouldn't be realistic to skip over this part before we get to their reconciliation as a couple.

Blake takes a sip of his lukewarm beer before setting it down on the table, and her eyes become weary with intoxication as she finishes another drink.

She’s lost count of how many drinks she’s had since she got here a while ago, but she doesn’t care. She’s letting loose, celebrating and so is he. Bottles are pulled open next, people are hugging and congratulating them and she hasn’t felt this carefree in weeks. After Blake’s frustrations blew up at Hillary’s place and they lost the deal they just managed to make, they started feeling the wrath of the industry in ways they hadn’t before. It was harder to get in the door with other people and their manager intensified the pressure largely.

It all came down to this moment; a hot shot executive at the label Warner Bros wanted to sign a publishing deal with them, giving them access to some of country music’s most prominent artists.

Gwen has on a pair of tight skinny jeans that hug her so well it makes him jealous. Her shirt leaves very little to the imagination and the thigh high boots she’s wearing makes him want to scrim his hands up her legs and take them off ever so slowly. 

He can tell she’s starting to feel the effects of her drinks and he smiles when she giggly announces she’ll be getting the next round. 

Normally he would’ve felt more compelled to look after her, make sure she’s alright, but after the weeks they’ve had— they both need this release.

She makes eye contact with him, smiling when he holds it. The genuinely vulnerable and exited look on her face makes it as if those uncertain weeks they’ve had were nothing but a bad dream. He thinks about how grateful he is he’s had Gwen by his side for it all, because he doesn’t know if he would’ve gotten through it with anyone else. 

He stands still and lets her approach him, even when sudden unexpected nerves fill his system. 

Maybe it’s the amount of drinks he’s had, or perhaps he’s suddenly realizing the magnitude of what they’ve done here, but nothing about their relationship could ever be truly casual. No matter how hard they both try to convince themselves. 

“Hi Blakey.” She says sweetly, her eyes taking him in like she hasn’t seen him in years instead of minutes. “Are you enjoying the party?”

Blake chuckles lowly. 

“About as much as you are, it seems.”

She puts one hand on her hip to show him she’s not as far gone as he’s making her out to be, but the action only causes her to slightly wobble on her feet. 

“Things are finally happening for us, _really_ happening. I always knew it would, but holy shit Blake, we’re really good together.”

Blake blushes. “We are.”

He watches as she motions for him to follow her and they get everyone new drinks while she makes him carry most of them. He smiles when they join the rest of the group again, only that vanishes when Gwen takes a seat nearly _on_ his lap instead of next to him. 

People are used to them being affectionate with each other, but it’s different now everyone’s aware of both songwriters being single. 

He can smell the fruity perfume she’s wearing fly up his nostrils and her hand slides up his chest as if this were the most normal display of public affection in the world. 

Maybe it is, because he sees no one look up strangely or even draw attention to them. Still, it feels like his heart is ten seconds away from exploding and every carefully tucked away admission of love is threatening to break him. 

“Gwen, how many songs did you and Blake write that night after you had this huge fight with Scotty?”

Gwen laughs but Blake finds it hard to even crack a smile, his hand staying firmly planted on the seat. Gwen’s hand still finds solace on his chest and he can feel the heat of her palm through the layer of his shirt. 

“Around five. We were on a roll that night.”

“Five songs in one night and we could only use one.” Blake says. “I’m not the best mathematician in the world, but I feel like that percentage might not be something to be braggadocios about.”

The petite songwriter on his lap rolls her eyes. 

“He always wants to be extremely humble, but we made lemons out of lemonade.... lemonade out of lemons.” She corrects herself with a shy giggle.

Their friends erupt in laughter at her screw up, but Blake’s mind feels like it’s going crazy. 

“You might wanna slow down on these...” he suggests softly when she raises the cocktail to her lips.

She smiles at him coyly. 

“What’s gotten into you?” She asks softly. “Aren’t you happy, cowboy?”

“I am.” He smiles, trying to lessen the sting. “I just don’t want you to wake up with the worst hangover of your life while we have a session planned tomorrow.”

She pets his chest in assurance.

“We have a session tomorrow _evening_.” She emphasizes. “I’ll be fine by then. Stop worrying about me and just enjoy yourself, okay?”

He doesn’t think he could get his voice to work, and if it does, there’s no way she won’t hear the panic in it. 

Years have gone into trying to get over her. He mastered the art of pretending and she’s erasing all that work in less than a few hours.

“Would you fly cross country to write with an artist of a completely different genre?” One of their friends asks, and Blake didn’t even realize the conversation had moved on to another subject.

“Of course.” Gwen shrieks, clapping her hands. “I tell Blake all the time, you learn the most from working with artists who have a completely different sound from yours.”

“But cross country? With _that_ guy?” 

Everyone turns to Blake and he manages to force out a chuckle.

“Very funny. I’m actually great flying company.”

“He’s right.” Gwen says, sounding as sincere as she sounds intoxicated. “He’s great company all around. I’m so lucky.”

Her choice of words doesn’t go unnoticed by him and to his surprise, their friend doesn’t miss it either.

“Let’s not go _too_ far, he’s not _that_ great.” He laughs.

“Oh you don’t know the half of it.” She winks.

Blake chokes on his drink, his eyes widening. 

It was enough to have people speculate about what would happen between them as soon as his separation hit, but to give them confirmation was something he wasn’t prepared for. 

“Wow! Really? We knew it.” The group exclaims, all in various ways.

Gwen looks unaffected by it all

“We write amazing songs together because he knows me better than anyone else. It’s that connection, you know? That will never go away. Right, cowboy?”

She’s looking at him now, all adorable and excited, but all he feels is frustration— anger even. 

This wasn’t something they talked about together yet, and it definitely wasn’t something Blake had the time to come to terms with. 

He wants her, more than he’s ever wanted another person. He’s also scared out of his mind and needs time; time that seems to have been running out on him without his knowledge.

“Gwen sweetheart, why don’t you let me drive you home?” He says instead, making a move to get up. 

She shakes her head, pushing him back down with the hand against his chest. 

“Did I say something wrong?” She whispers to him, and God how he wishes she weren’t drunk so he could actually have this conversation. 

“She’s having fun!” One of her friends says. “Come on, I wanna hear more about this. You guys are really... you know, _doing_ it again?”

Blake shakes his head, not even caring about the fact he’s about to lie to their friends, or half lie. Technically they _are_ just friends, friends who are fucking each other. 

“We’re just friends.”

“Not for a lack of trying.” Gwen wiggles her eyebrows. 

“ _Gwen_.”

“What? We can tell them we’re sleeping together but we can’t say we love each other still?”

Laughter and chatter suddenly quiets and Blake can actually hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

“That’s enough, come here.” 

He stands up, ignoring her protest and dragging her with him by the hand. He doesn’t stop walking until they’re near the exit, away from all their friends and any possible eavesdroppers.

“You need to stop it.” He hisses. “ _Now_.”

She looks confused and glares up at him with a look that shows him she’s not impressed. 

“What did I do? Why are you so damn tense?”

She presses up on her toes and moves her hands around his neck. Her body pushes even closer as she starts kissing up his jawline.

“You need to relax a little.” She murmurs between kisses and he can feel her grinning against his skin.

“No.” He moves away from her, grabbing her hands in his and holding them still. “You’re drunk and I’m mad. We can’t do this.”

“Why are you mad?”

“Do you even realize you just told all our friends we’re fucking. And not just that, you told them we’re basically still in love with each other. Jesus fucking Christ, Gwen.”

For the first time since tonight, she looks a bit shocked. Her expression quickly turns into something more relaxed though.

“Was I wrong?” She whispers.

“We haven’t even spoken those words to each other again, in that way. But you say them to our friends. _Really_?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” She redirects.

“And you didn’t answer mine but I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“Years Gwen. For _years_ I tried to do the right thing, let you go and move on with my life. I did what I had to do so you could be happy, so we could keep working together. And now what? You decide to get drunk and just make the decision for the both of us that you’re gonna out us? Turn life as we know it upside down for _what_? Cause you’re drunk and horny?”

“You got engaged months after we broke up.” She whispers. “You did what you did for yourself. I was always here, being there for you, _waiting_!”

“You didn’t want me anymore Gwen. You wanna blame me for getting married? I wanted to marry you some day, I told you that back in college. You freaked out.”

“So you just marry someone else without fighting for me?” She scoffs. “ _Yeah_ , you were really broken up about the whole thing.”

“I was here too!” He hisses. “You think I wouldn’t have left her if I thought there was even a _chance_ you’d take me back? You think I would’ve married her if you still wanted that with _me?_ I was honest with you always, but you made it clear you wanted us to be partners in music more than you wanted us to be partners in life. I tried chasing happiness with someone else, Gwen. I’m not gonna apologize for that.”

Gwen looks down at her boots, the way her small body looks compared to his own makes him aware of some primal need to protect her, even when he’s beyond frustrated with her.

“So basically you’re saying it’s all my fault.”

Blake scoffs. “That’s not what I said.”

“No, no.” She cuts him off, hands flying dramatically. “That’s what you’re insinuating. I didn’t wanna marry you in _college_ , so all there was left for you to do was leave me and marry someone else.”

“You think I left cause you didn’t wanna get married right that second?” He asks bewilderedly, anger boiling up again. “If I wanted to marry you back in college, I would’ve fucking proposed, Gwen. I left because it became clear that you wanted something else for your future. You wanted to be free.”

“I’ve never felt trapped with you, Blake. I was free when we were together. You think it set me free when you left? Because let me tell you, it didn’t.”

“If that’s the case, why didn’t you fight for me?”

“Because you told me every day how you couldn’t see a future without me and then you just decided one morning you had enough. You know what it feels like to get lied to like that? I couldn’t handle that a second time.” Her eyes are getting glossy while her words tear straight through his heart. “I figured that when you said you couldn’t see a future without me, you meant this—being in each other’s lives as friends, marrying other people, joined dinners with our separate families. You _were_ my future Blake. I was simply _in_ yours.”

He tries to formulate words after that, but all that comes out is an exasperated breath.

“Is that what you believe?”

It’s her turn to scoff, the conversation seems to have sobered her up just a little bit as she still looks a bit unstable on her feet.

“I’m gonna head home. I don’t exactly feel like I’m in the partying mood anymore.”

“I’ll drive you.”

“I can get someone else to drive me.”

He holds his hand up, letting her know it’s not up for debate.

He might be upset with her, but he’s still not gonna let her go home without him when she’s in that state, especially considering they’ll be going to the same place.

She walks out in front of him when they say goodbye to their friends, ignoring a few digs about being buzzkills for going home only a few minutes after midnight.

“We have a session tomorrow.” Blake uses as a somewhat excuse. “We’ll meet up with you guys again another time.”

The drive is tense and quiet, but he can’t get himself to break the silence. He doesn’t know what to tell her and from the looks of it, they’re both battling demons as they fly down the highway.

His place comes into view and he’s barely parked the car when Gwen shoots out of the passenger’s seat and makes her way to his patio. He sighs deeply before rubbing a hand down his face, opening the door for her and letting her in. He thinks she’s about to disappear into the guest room or maybe even the couch, but she surprises him when she turns around and approaches him steadily. She’s no longer looking like she can fall over any moment and her determination is what causes him to freeze.

He knows what’s happening before she does it, but it still doesn’t stop the gasp from escaping his lips when she kisses him forcefully.

Her eyes run the length of him when she pulls back, her lips curling wickedly when she sees he’s already at full attention for her. He didn’t mean to go there tonight, but with the lingering frustration pooling right there, he doesn’t think he’s strong enough to hold off the inevitable clash of emotions.

She kisses him again and this time, he’s right there with her. His mouth moves over hers greedily, his tongue exploring every inch of her mouth. He wordlessly lifts her shirt over her head and unhooks, then peels away her bra. She takes it upon herself to pull her pants down her hips and he lifts her up the minute she does.

Everything goes incredibly fast all the sudden; he strips, falling on top of her body on the mattress while she keeps licking and sucking at his neck. One moment, they’re making out and the next she’s gasping out profanities against his lips.

He pushes the two middle fingers of his right hand into her smoothly, his thumb rubbing her slowly. He presses his forehead to hers, making it impossible for her to look away. She starts moaning his name after only a few seconds in this position and he smiles proudly, his fingers moving faster. He can tell she’s hit by the same overpowering feeling he is and her eyes glisten underneath the force of it. His free hand brushes away her tears as they fall, keeping his pace quick and forceful. When he flicks his thumb over her clit again, her body tenses as it hits her. He’s stunned by how quick he’s gotten her off and his eyes take in the sight of her back arching and lips panting breathy versions of his name.

He nuzzles her nose, continuing the onslaught between her legs with his fingers. He moves deeper, pressing her down as his hand moves with more power. He smirks when he feels her wetness lightly against his wrist. “That’s my girl, cum for me baby.”

Her eyes squeeze shut and she swallows a scream as her prolonged orgasm rips through her. He pulls his hands away from her center and nudges her thighs wider apart with his knees. Another moan escapes her when he slowly tastes her off his fingers before sliding into her.

Her eyes roll as she curls her back, and he can tell she’s close already. She works her legs up over his thrusting hips and moves her hands to his chest. He wants to watch her come again but he’s also still feeling the remnants of his frustration from earlier; which makes him eager to make her wait for it.

“Oh God, please.” She whispers, each word on a beat that matches her pulse.

He gives her hair a hard yank, his other hand gripping her hip as he continues to slam into her. He’s almost ready, can feel his muscles tightening as he curls over her and moves even harder.

He can’t stop thinking about everything that’s been said earlier tonight, her vulnerable words combined with the willingness in which she takes him right now, make him crash towards that high in record time. He knows there’s no way they’ll be able to keep things going the way they have up until now, but in this moment, all he truly cares about is getting them both off.

They don’t share any words, he simply nods at her.

Their eyes are open, staring at each other, matching grunts and growls meeting between their parted lips. He kisses her hard before releasing inside her. Her body lifts off the bed as she comes again, whimpering loudly as she wraps herself around him as much as the position allows for.

“Fuck.” He moans, still thrusting inside her, ignoring the oversensitivity for this blissful torture. She’s still twitching and pulsing around him as he keeps his deep pace. He’s testing her limits, pushing himself and in the back of his mind he makes himself a deal. He’ll stop when she comes a third time, in desperate need to see her shatter in as many pieces as her words caused him to.

“Blake, fuck, I _can’t_ …” She babbles, and in spite of her doubtful protest, she does what he’s asked of her. She clenches around him so hard, he has to stop. She writhes and spasms, and the tears that spring to her eyes again are spontaneous and involuntary.

He growls when he uses the final vestiges of strength to flip them over. His arm comes around her back as her body goes limp on top of his.

Silence fills the room, sporadically interrupted by laboured breathing and small tremblings of breath.

“Gwen?”

“Hmmmm?”

“You really still love me like that?”

She tries to raise her head to look at him, but all she can do is nuzzle his chest.

“God, yes.” She replies breathlessly. “Do you?”

He closes his eyes and tightens his grip on her back.

“Never stopped.”

“Now what?”

He reaches over her as he grabs the rumpled sheets and pulls them over their entangled bodies. She grumbles something unintelligible and he assumes she’s thanking him.

“Tomorrow…” He says softly. “We should talk about it tomorrow.”


	6. 6.

Her blonde hair stands out against the couch cushion as she holds a cup of coffee. He heard her showering thirty minutes ago and decided to stay in bed for the duration of it. She had stayed in his bed last night but she made sure they didn’t wake up together. It’s something he’s not mad at it, but it needs to be talked about regardless. Coupled with the elephant in the room that’s been eating at them since they started this sexual arrangement.

He knows she can hear him approach, but she doesn’t look up to acknowledge him until he’s sitting down on the couch next to her.

“Morning.” She raps, her voice scratchy.

“Good morning.” He says, looking at the side of her face.

He knows her so well; every facial expression is one he can read. He can tell she’s feeling too much of everything and he wants so badly to take some of that pressure away from her. He’s still hurt by everything that happened last night though and he can’t get himself to say anything that would help her at the moment.

“We should talk, Gwen.” He says delicately, barely in a whisper.

There’s something even scarier about discussing this in daylight, instead of the dark and moody bar they were in hours ago. Their relationship has been so defined and suppressed for so many years, it’s almost impossible to think about the possibilities of their relationship now all their restrictions have fallen away.

“Do you remember that one night in college….” She starts softly, looking at the cup in between her palms. “You went to this party with some friends and came to my dorm room completely obliterated? I asked you what you had to drink and Collin, who brought you back to me that night, begged me not to ask?”

Blake bites his lip, unsure of where this is going. “Uh, yeah I remember you telling me that story. Gwen, why— “

“We had just started dating and only our real close friends knew. Collin was not one of them. Apparently, you had told him you wanted to be dropped off at my room because you wanted to ‘sleep next to your girl’. He told me how lucky you were to have found me and how everyone could see I was good for you.”

Blake’s eyes widen. “He did? I thought he just dropped me off and left.”

“That’s because you passed out in my bed the minute we dropped you on it. What I’m trying to say is…” She swallows before looking him in the eye. “You outed us to a guy that wasn’t even my friend and I was fine with that, you wanna know why?”

“Gwen….”

“Because I loved you. I loved you and I was so proud to be your girl, I didn’t care who knew. I know we said to take it slow but I didn’t care, because you made me feel so good and so happy, I didn’t see what could possibly be wrong about sharing that.”

“That was a completely different situation, Gwen.” He says exasperated.

“It doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t matter. Are we just doing this thing because you need something freaky on the low? Because if that’s the case, I really don’t understand why you’d agreed on it being me. I mean, god damn Blake, you couldn’t find yourself a nice Nashville girl to play your call girl and keep your dick wet?”

 _No. No. No._ She was making him the bad guy while this whole thing started out as _her_ idea in the first place. He never wanted to hurt her, never meant to make her feel any less special than she truly is to him, but she was the one who convinced him they could do this.

“Now wait a damn second, you seem to be getting this thing confused.” He says angrily. “I told you this was a crazy idea and you said we could do this. _You_ said you wanted it like this.”

“Because I thought you loved me!” She hisses angrily, eyes wet and glistening. “You think I would’ve done this with anyone else? I trust you and I knew there would always be love there, so I wasn’t afraid to go to these places with you. But the way you looked at me last night…. you were embarrassed when I told our friends that I liked you.”

He shakes his head, anger dissipating from his body and getting replaced with such a ferocious fear it damn near cripples him. He scoots a bit closer to her but remains careful not to push too far.

“I wasn’t embarrassed, Gwen.” He whispers, in disbelief she could even think that. “I didn’t want to hear you say that you loved me, that you were _in_ love with me, while you were drunk. I didn’t wanna hear those things like that before you even told me in private. You know how long I dreamed to hear you say those words again? Hearing you say them while being out of your mind drunk was the worst kind of torture.”

“Do you want me to say them again?” She whispers.

His arm slides to her opposite shoulder, flicking some her hair back in the process. His thumb slides up to her jaw and forces her head to look at him.

“Right after you tell me what the hell this all means.”

She takes in a shaky breath. “It means that I like you. It means that I don’t want to have to hide that, but if I do, I wanna at least know where I stand.”

His arm tightens around her and his eyes close.

“Please tell me.” She pleads brokenly.

The sound causes his eyes to snap open again. He loves her, always has and always will. He can hardly believe that’s news to her.

“I love you, Gwen. I don’t….” He stammers, wanting to explain everything he’s feeling but failing miserably. “That’s never not been the case. But I also just got divorced and I don’t wanna pull you in close when I’m still sorting through the wreckage of that relationship.”

“I understand that Blake, I do…” She whispers, biting her lip. “Where does that leave us?”

He brings both of his hands up, cupping her face as he slowly covers her mouth with his. He pries her lips open with his tongue and presses her body into his. Her hands find safety in his shirt while she deepens it. She feels everything he’s trying to get her to feel through this kiss and she realizes it’s not fear that’s making Blake scared to go there with her, it’s habit. And it’s one he’s willing to break for her now.

He slowly pulls away from her, leaning his forehead against hers.

“I don’t wanna stop what we’re doing together.” He whispers softly. “I just need a bit more time before I can make this official. If you need to pull away for a second or figure things out for yourself, I understand. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you. I’d hate myself if you did.”

She smiles, rubbing her nose against his. “I don’t want to stop this either. I can handle not being official with you, Blake. I just need to know that I’m not setting myself up for disappointment here.”

“Close your eyes.” He softly commands, and as soon as she does, he’s pecking her lips again sweetly and pulls back as abruptly as it started. “I’m not the guy you dated in college anymore. I can be the man you need me to be now, I just need you to give me a little time to sort through some of this toxicity that I’ve been dealing with ever since….” He trails off, but she gets it. “I’ve dreamed about this moment for too long to mess it up. I’m not making you wait to string you along here, I’m making you wait so when we _do_ go there officially, it will be everything you deserve and nothing less.”

She still has her eyes closed and she realizes why he made her do that now. He wants her to feel everything he says without the distraction of anything else. He wants her to just _hear_ his voice and hear the sincerity in the way she was always able to when it came to him.

Her heart sings and her breath quickens. She knows he’s right; they’ve waited years already, it’s nothing to wait a little longer until they work through some issues. It’s time to give each other what they promised to do in their youth; open their barely healed wounds, let each other into the parts they’ve been trying to bury. They can heal each other if they let themselves feel.

“We just gotta keep talking…” She whispers, eyes still closed. “Keep communicating.”

“I agree.” He whispers against her lips and she wasn’t aware his face was this close to hers. His breath hits her lips and she bites down on her bottom one involuntarily. “I wanna start taking you out on dates, Gwen. Not just the random, but amazing love making we’ve been doing. I wanna be able to do both. I know I’m asking you to be patient with me, but I don’t just plan on taking from you Gwen. I wanna give, I wanna take you out and show you what you’ve been missing out on all these years.”

The way he says it, the precise tone and inflection, makes his meaning even clearer. She knows what he’s saying, what he’s offering and every single hair on her body stands on end and her heart plummets in the best way.

She hasn’t felt this way since she was seventeen and falling in love with the handsome cowboy for the first time.

“I’d really like that.” She smiles wearily, and of course that’s the moment Blake slowly coaxes her to open her eyes again. Her watery orbs stare down at his and his hand gently cups her chin.

“I’m really sorry for hurting you, Gwen.” He says softly, holding her close. “I’m gonna take care of you now. I promise.”

  
She simply finds his free hand and squeezes it.

-

The studio is empty except for Blake and their one co-writer Allison who’s packing up her things to get going. They’ve been at the session for a solid six hours and it’s far into midnight as Gwen lays mindlessly against the soft sofa.

Their writing combined with the emotional talk she had with Blake earlier today, had made for a beyond draining day and she’s unsure of how she got any words to flow out of her for hours on end.

Blake sees their co-writer out before he comes back and crashes into the sofa next to her. “We need to work on our subtlety.”

Gwen crooks her brow while swinging one leg across the couch's headrest. Blake chuckles and she knows right away he’s suppressing some inappropriate comment about her flexibility.

“We’re trying to be lowkey about how we feel, but write a song called ‘The sun in your eyes’.”

She closes her eyes and smiles, not even able to fake any feeling of guilt.

“She’s lucky that’s _all_ she was a witness to.” Gwen smirks. “The way you looked playing that guitar while singing ‘ _when the day breaks I see the sun in her eyes, I would let it blind me for life_ ’ was something else, cowboy.”

Blake smirks. “Her kisses are like sunshine and whiskey, taking me higher than life. And when I wake up beside her, I see the sun in her eyes.” He continues to sing, looking straight at her.

She grunts. “You’re playing with fire right now.”

“Really?” He murmurs, crawling over to her and placing both knees on each side of her body, his arm outstretched to hold the armrest as it traps her beneath him. “What do you want right now?”

She doesn’t touch him, even though her body is screaming for her to do so. She wants to wait and see what he’ll do.

“I want you.”

His lips descend the moment the words leave her mouth, hot as they're slick over hers. His hands slide up to her jaw, tilting it enough to deepen the kiss. Out of all the things she thought he’d do, standing up and lifting her off the couch was not one of them. She squeals when he pushes her against the wall less than gently, his lips pecking hers in a sweet manner as if to make up for his rough move just now.

Gwen reaches for something but grasps only onto air and as he’s got her pushed against the studio wall. She ends up with two handfuls of his shirt and tugs him even closer. He tears his lips from hers, redirecting them to her neck. He feels her knees weaken when he sucks on her pulse point and smirks.

“You okay there, baby girl?”

“Oh God.” She breathes as his tongue dips into her collarbone, teeth scraping gently against her skin. He knows it’s only his tight grip on her that keeps her from crumbling to the ground and it fills him with even more heat.

He’s hot and pulsing against her hip as he grinds into her.

He hoists her up so her legs hook around his back and he’s got her propped up against the wall. It’s a better position this way, allows him better access and speeds things along.

Blake groans, hands spreading over her ass as he pulls her impossibly closer. One hand moves up, finding its way under the fabric of her tank top while the other flirts with the waistband of her yoga pants, dipping beneath and quickly discovering the thin strip of her underwear.

She’s tugging at his buttons for a while, only managing to free one before she gives up. He smiles before she yanks his shirt open in one aggressive movement. He bites his lip when she reaches for his belt, obviously out of patience.

His right hand has found the edge of her bra, fingers tracing the line of silk before cupping her breast in his hand. His other hand tugs at her underwear, pushing both her pants and thong down and off.

She grinds against him, trying to get him to hurry up.

“Blake, please.”

The only response she gets is the hum of his lips against her neck.

“Jesus baby…” He grunts, eyes snapping up to hers in a heated and conflicted glance. “Fuck, we shouldn’t be doing this here. Not like this.”

There’s a moment of silence between them. She seems to understand his hesitance and smiles sweetly. Her finger traces his jawline before her palm flattens and curls around his cheek, simply holding him.

“We can do romantic another time.” She whispers, glance still heated but with a gentleness that he’s missed ever since they started having sex together again. “You need time before you can be with me, but that also means we have time to date each other again, rediscover each other, right?”

His pulse speeds up. “Yeah, it does.”

“So we’ll have plenty of time to do this differently. We’ll have all the time in the world for romantic dinner dates and making love in a bed until the sun comes up. For now, let’s have this.”

“ _Fuck_.” He whispers, affected by her words and proximity.

“Blake baby, please…” She whispers. “Please just— “

He cuts her off effectively when his fingers slide between her legs. Her head falls back against the wall and his lips go back to her neck as his fingers swirl around her folds.

“You’re so wet.” He groans against her skin.

He slides two fingers into her and the whimper that escapes her throat makes him painfully aware of his own arousal. He keeps working her with his fingers, the heel of his hand pressing against her clit in their position. One of his lips closes over her left breast and a shudder wrecks her entire body.

She’s already so close.

Gwen slips an arm between them and uses her shaky hand to undo his fly and zipper, pushing his jeans down far enough to free his erection. Her small hand wraps around his length and strokes once, twice, before he’s pulling his lips away from her skin on a groan.

“I need to be inside of you right now.” He murmurs.

She brushes a thumb across his tip and he twitches in her hand as his hips buck into her. “Then do it, baby.”

“You do it.” He whispers. “I wanna see you do it.”

One arm tightens around his neck in response, while the other strokes his tip along her core, coating him in her wetness before she pauses with him at her entrance. She presses him inside of her next and he meets her halfway by thrusting in all the way, until their hips are flushed against each other.

He’s hot and solid inside her, filling her completely and he gives her a moment to adjust before slamming back in. Her inner muscles flutter around him as her eyes fall shut. He wants to keep that blissful expression on her face forever and repeats the movement again and again.

Gwen drags her eyes open eventually to look at him, while his gaze has never left her face. She’s so damn gorgeous like this, so fucking unreal. She twists her hips on his next thrust and his eyes go wide as the hunger and admiration for her quadruple. He leans down and captures her lips with his own in a kiss that’s much more tasteful than their hips. In contradiction to their brutal and sloppy rhythm, their kiss is quite slow and tender, coaxing the small gasps from her mouth like clockwork.

Every thrust of his hips presses her harder against the wall and they both know she’s going to be sore when it’s all said and done. He’ll leave her aching, but never hurting. He will take care of her even when he doesn’t think he deserves to be the one who gets to do that. He will make her his and he’ll be hers and even if it takes time to get there officially, it’s nice to know that nothing has changed in their hearts. He loves her and while his hips relentlessly pound into her, so does all his care and admiration.

“I’m so close.” She whispers against his lips, sounding every bit wrecked.

Blake slips a hand between them, finding her clit. Three swipes and she’s shattering around him as he pulses inside of her, both sliding to the floor in a sweaty, sticky, breathless tangle.

Just like their songs reflect, they will never _just_ make music together.


	7. 7.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know stories like these aren’t people’s favorite, so I won’t drag it out. Thanks for reading (another one finished, I’m proud). 
> 
> Stay safe everybody!

She enters her bathroom, steam clouding around her, warmth permeating her clothes. She catches his outline through the shower screen but she can’t see anything below waist level due to frosted glass. His face is under the spray, a hand propped up against the wall and if he’d heard her enter, he hasn’t reacted at all.

Her eyes skim the planes of his bare back on view, flushed pink from the heat and all she can think is how much she wants to press her body against his. She realizes right then how crazy backwards this whole thing has been. He moved in with her after his divorce, then they decided to sleep with each other and now they’re deciding on giving this relationship another shot. _Unofficially_.

She quietly tugs her nightgown over her head and seconds later drops her panties to the floor.

She opens the screen door gently, his face still under the loud spray when she steps up behind him. She takes a breath before skimming her palms lightly down his back.

He doesn’t jump. He’s always had a sixth sense when it came to her.

She presses her bare breasts against his back, sinking into his body.

“This is a nice surprise.” He groans as she slides her hand around his chest until it meets his short chest hair, holding him like that with her face pressed up against the muscles of his back.

“I missed you.”

She watches him register the information as he starts to move, his body turning until she has no choice but to detach from his back. He looks down at her with a softness in his eyes, while pulling her closer into him and moving her to stand under the spray.

“You were still asleep and after last night I could _really_ use a shower.” He says suggestively, his eyes drift down to her exposed breasts and she watches him run his teeth over his lower lip. “You looked too adorable sleeping for me to go and wake you.”

She steps even closer until she is smoothing her palms up the expanse of his forearms, encircling her arms around his neck.

“I always notice when you’re not in bed with me anymore.” She admits, and it’s perhaps too vulnerable of an admission to make after agreeing on taking things slow, but Blake doesn’t seem put off by her statement.

Quite the contrary.

He moves forward and she almost yelps when he backs her up against the cold tiled wall behind her. She takes in a sharp breath as his naked body presses flush up against hers. He wastes no time leaning in, skimming his lips across her cheek until he reaches the base of her ear.

“Is that why I have only slept in your guest room once since I practically moved in two months ago?”

She shrugs. “Yeah. _That_ and the fact that you make for one hell of a pillow.”

“Is that a fat joke, Gwen?” He rasps against her neck before nipping at her ear. “Are you making fun of my manboobs? That’s very ballsy of you considering I have you in quite the position right now.”

Gwen giggles, while skimming her nails up his back.

“You don’t have manboobs, Blake. You know you’re like super hot, your body is my favorite thing— “

Her words are cut off by his mouth as he kisses her firmly. She sinks into it completely, both expelling air through their noses as he deepens it. She loosens her grip around his shoulders, her hands lightly trailing down his chest. He surprises her by grasping them softly, intertwining their fingers and placing them shoulder height against the shower wall.

“You are the best thing to have ever happened to me, you know that?” He murmurs against her ear, using the advantage of space to press her even further against the wall.

The lower half of her body pangs in response and she nearly whines when he backs off her body a bit so he can trail one of his hands down her chest, running them along the tips of her hardening nipples while he holds her still.

“ _Blake_...” She whispers, gasping when he moves a solid thigh between her legs and parts her for him.

“Do you want your hands back?” He murmurs as water pummels down his back, and he thumbs her wrists while waiting.

The question surprises her at first, but the look in his eyes make her clear on his intentions. He wants her to know that this time is different, and he’s not looking to dominate or take from her. This is about her, about what she wants and how she wants it.

“Not particularly.” She breathes out against his mouth.

His lips twitch and he takes the permission to lift both her wrists above her head, keeping them seized in one of his palms. His other hand now free to grasp the weight of her left breasts.

He exhales against her mouth at the humble fullness. “God, I’ve missed you too.”

She knows he isn’t just talking about the time he’s been away from her in the bed. He’s talking about all the years they spent without each other, while having each other so geographically close.

She gasps as the rough pad of his thumb starts to trail softy across her nipple again. Her chest pounds in anticipation as he seizes her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and tugs it slowly, while continuing to stare into her eyes.

She tries not to falter, tries not to let it on that she’s already weakening under his touches, but he’ll always be able to read her, especially in vulnerable moments like this.

“What do you want me to do to you, Gwen?” He whispers against her forehead, accent thick.

Her lips bump in to his chin, the stubble on his jawline giving her a bit of a burn. He doesn’t give her a chance to answer before his mouth is back on hers. His lips are prickly and she instantly flashes back to the previous evening of fucking that continued when they came back from the studio, where he’d dragged her body down the mattress and planted himself readily between her legs.

She breaks the kiss, panting.

“I want you to make me come.” She whispers in the small space between them.

He smiles down at her, his free hand dragging across the side of her torso, his palm flipping part way until his knuckles are sliding across her abdomen. His hand continues its down path between their bodies and her eyes slip closed because she knows what’s about to come. She feels his thick fingers part her lips as he drags the pad of his fingertip over her clit.

She can’t believe the puddle of weakness she becomes instantly as he starts to lower himself down her body, holding her hips firmly against the wall.

He drags his stubble down her chest, across the underside of her breast until his lips are encircling the nipple he’d been toying with for minutes. He takes it in his mouth, tongue swirling briefly before he releases it. He skims his mouth further down her stomach as water pummels down his back, until he’s kneeling on the tiled floor in front of her. He hoists her leg over his shoulder and moves in close enough so she can feel him breathe against her center.

“Keep telling me what you want.” He whispers right before his mouth is on her. He takes her clit between his lips and sucks lightly, his scratchy stubble causing her to buck in his hold at the sensation.

She lets her head fall back against the tile, held up only by his grip around her hips. She starts to moan as his tongue starts teasing her opening. She bucks in his hold again, hands coming out to rest on his head as he makes no move to speed things along, just keeps licking and kissing without entering her.

“Blake, baby….” He flicks against her bundle of nerves again, causing her to whine. “God please.”

He is hungry, demanding, and then she realizes what he told her. She needs to keep talking to him. Tell him exactly what she wants. He continues to stroke her clit with his tongue, brushing her most sensitive area. She can feel his fingers slipping across her folds, thumbing her slit while she trembles with anticipation and longing.

“I need you _in_ me, Blake.” She whimpers, her voice sounding scratchy and spent.

He takes it slowly, pressing at her entrance and then taking her clit between his lips. He slides one finger into her determinedly, grinning against her as she gasps. She calls out in surprise because, fuck, she can feel herself contracting around him already. He has a firm hold on her as he slides in a second finger and she groans as her inner walls clamp welcomingly around his digits.

Her eyes are still closed when he slowly retracts his fingers and suddenly lowers her leg. She thinks for a second he is moving up to ready himself at her entrance but when she opens her eyes, it’s the retractable shower head that has come into view. The rough spray hits her between her thighs first, making her jump a little.

She wants to ask what the hell he is doing but the shower head moves lower until it’s lined up between her legs. He has her wrist pinned again in his other hand as the pressure of the spray hits her directly against her clit. She calls out from the sensation, bucking at first, tugging at her wrists from the ticklish feeling before she slowly starts to relax into it.

She is breathing heavy against the pressure, waves of pleasure coursing through her core as he continues to watch her intently.

“I’m—” She cuts herself off, her fingers itching to free themselves but the firm hold on her remains. “I’m gonna…” She breathes out rapidly towards his solid gaze. She’s close and he knows it, so he moves it further inward, pushing her legs even further apart with his knee. “Fuck Blake.”

He hasn’t ever done this before, this is new, and she makes a mental note to add it into their repertoire from now on.

He moves forward, stubble dragging across her jawline once more as his erection digs into her hip. “Come baby.”

She is so close, and her eyes close in preparation of falling off that delicious edge soon. She can still feel the heat of his stare as he waits on her, getting off on the selfless pleasure he’s giving her and her complete trust in him while doing so. Her whole body stutters violently, gasps and breathy versions of his name falling off her lips while her hips make small and frantic circles.

“Oh god.” She whimpers, fighting against his grip on her wrists but only causing her to move across the tiled wall a little. She comes down minutes later, the spray no longer touching her between her legs, and Blake’s hands holding her around her waist to keep her steady against him.

She must’ve fallen into him after all was said and done.

She feels flushed and disoriented, but nothing matters in this blissful moment. She continues to stutter out broken breathes against his naked chest, enjoying the way his hand rakes gently through her wet hair.

“I didn’t tell you to do that.” She whispers softly, her grin against his chest making it obvious that she doesn’t actually mind his moment of improvisation.

“You told me to make you come.” He chuckles, sliding his hands over her ass and squeezing. “I’m pretty sure I just did that.”

She laughs and slips her arm around his waist.

“That was pretty great, I’m not gonna lie.”

He smiles proudly, pecking her lips again for good measure. “You just inspire me.”

“To give me orgasms?”

He bites his lip and nods. “To give you orgasms, to write songs about you, to wake up in your bed, everything, Gwen.”

She hides her teary eyes by burying her head in the crook of his neck, her body still feeling the aftershocks of her orgasm.

“I literally don’t wanna do anything but stand here for a moment, can we do that?” She whispers.

He doesn’t verbally answer her, but by the way his arms tighten across her back, she thinks they can.

—

“I gotta say, I didn’t think this was gonna happen.” Scotty says, his attention turned to the two songwriters in the room.

Gwen looks over at Blake who’s wearing his big, dimpled grin and she was hit by how much she truly loves that look on him. And how she’d do whatever it takes to keep it on there forever.

“Co-writing an album?” Blake smiles, laughing a little.

“Co-writing a _hit_ album.” Their manager retorts, clapping his hands. “I know it’s technically not even out yet, but every co-written single she’s released has cracked the top ten and there’s genuine hype behind this release. The label is willing to push it majorly, so your names will be out there for all big shot artist to see. There’s no way this isn’t the start of major mainstream success for you two.”

It’s still weird for Gwen to hear her manager talk like that. She’s not naïve to the fact that it works like this, music executives, labels and managers are all looking for the next big thing. She’s just happy that’s never been the driving force for her and Blake. They make music because they don’t know another way. The fact that they’re finally getting this type of recognition is nice, but it doesn’t change her motivation or inspiration to do what she does.

Looking over at Blake, she can tell he’s thinking the same.

“We’ve worked hard on these songs.” Blake says softly, looking at the large clock in the room and realizing the same thing as every other adult in the room.

Twenty more minutes until the album is officially out in the world.

“And it shows.” Scotty continues, patting him gently on the shoulder. “Take a well-deserved break after this launch tonight, both of you.” He looks over at Gwen and smiles. “Go on a vacation, take a break from each other from all I’ll care, but take this time to treat yourselves.”

Gwen isn’t surprised to hear her manager’s words. Blake and Gwen have always been passionate together and that hasn’t always proved to be easy. There were moments in their history as a songwriter’s duo where they could barely be in the same room together, writing lyrics about each other proving to be a real challenge sometimes. Scotty has been the mediator more than once and she has to suppress a chuckle when she thinks about how much their narrative changed over these last few weeks.

“I think we’ll be okay.” Blake smirks, winking at her. “But thank you man, I think a break would be greatly appreciated for a while.”

Just like that, they’re left alone again as their manager wanders off to a music exec in the room. Gwen looks up at Blake shyly, biting her lip.

“Fifteen minutes.” She whispers.

The room is becoming loud and chatter and anxious whispers are passed around as much as the drinks. Her eyes are unable to move from the clock until Blake puts his arm around her and pulls her closer to his side.

“Crazy, right?”

She nods. “College us would never have seen this coming.”

“College me didn’t see a lot of stuff coming.” He affirms.

She pauses, keeping her eyes on the side of his face with a small smile playing across her lips.

“Yeah?” She whispers sweetly. “Like what?”

“Like how we didn’t give up after moving here the first year and not getting a single person to invite us to a writer’s session, or how you’ve stayed by my side through my messy marriage and drunken nights on your couch. And I definitely didn’t see this moment right here coming, Gwen. You standing by my side as we watch the clock count down the album release that has our writing credits all over it.” He exhales a bit nervously, grinning sheepishly. “There’s no one else I would’ve wanted to experience this crazy ride with, you know that right?”

Gwen whisks away a few tears that are forming in her eyes and swallows. “I wouldn’t want to experience any of it with anyone else either.”

His heart seems to warm in front of her eyes. He continuous to hold her in the middle of the crowded room, not at all worried about the many onlookers who are more than eager to catch a glimpse of the duo who made so much of this album what it is.

“Five minutes.” Blake whispers against the side of her head.

She smiles.

“Promise me you’ll never stop writing with me?” She half states, half asks, her eyes pleading for the affirmation just as much as her words do.

“I’ll never stop writing with you.” Blake promises, holding her close. “Promise me you’ll never stop being by my side, period.”

She knew she had fallen for him just as hard as ever, maybe even worse than before. All the feelings she had gotten so good at pushing away were back and pushing at her heart. It feels exhilarating and terrifying at the same time, but she can’t imagine ever not feeling like her whole heart is exposed to him. She can’t imagine ever not being by his side, even when that proves to be an infuriating thing sometimes.

“You’re not getting rid of me, ever.” She says softly, looking up at his baby blue eyes.

“Twenty fucking seconds!” Allison yells, one hand rising into the air and causing a bit of tequila to spill.

The room erupts in a symphony of rumbles and excited chatter and Blake squeezes her tightly against his side before letting her go. She’s immediately disappointed by the lack of physical contact, but he quickly takes care of that problem.

Instead of holding her like two close friends could, he reaches for her hand and holds it gently. Her breath stutters at the move, but she’s not at all put off by it.

She looks up at him with surprise and he just smiles widely, putting all her fears to ease.

He’s no longer worried about who sees and he knows that she stopped caring about that a while back. His hand feels so familiar and comfortable when intertwined with hers, the moment literally feels like coming home.

“Five, four, three…”

He squeezes her hand softly.

“Two, one…”

Everyone is looking at the manager who’s popping a campaign bottle, or the artist losing herself in praise, or the room that’s lighting up with phone cameras and screams, but Blake’s gaze stays zoned in on her. Not caring about anything else but her in that moment.

“Congratulations!”

She doesn’t know who’s congratulating them, she can’t get herself to look away from Blake’s eyes.

“They say our lives just changed forever.” Blake whispers, and it’s the first thing he said in minutes.

She doesn’t say anything in return, just nods and pulls him in for a hug. He holds her in silence even though the room just erupted and she closes her eyes while being pulled against him. She gets lost in the serenity of the moment and she realizes only Blake could give her this kind of comfort. This kind of peace in the midst of such happy chaos. She keeps holding on to him while looking up, her hands sliding up his forearms.

Their eyes lock before he leans down and places a tender kiss on her lips, his hands cupping her cheeks with the utmost care. Her hand covers the one that’s on her cheek while she deepens it, not even noticing her surroundings any longer.

Their lives _did_ just change and it had nothing to do with music.


End file.
